Woman & Home (South Africa) - - Boost Your Self-esteem -

Psy­cho­sex­ual ther­a­pist Ju­lia Cole wrote How to Stay To­gether For­ever (Ver­mil­ion), and coau­thored How to Have Great Sex for the Rest of Your Life (Lit­tle, Brown).

TAKE A PER­SONAL IN­VEN­TORY OF YOUR SEX LIFE What do you en­joy sex­u­ally? What makes you feel aroused? What no longer works? Mid­dle age is a nat­u­ral time to move away from the mass and bet­ter un­der­stand your­self.


– rather than hop­ing he’ll some­how get the mes­sage. Re­mem­ber, he’ll prob­a­bly be grap­pling with anx­i­eties, too. Don’t as­sume any re­luc­tance to en­gage in sex means he doesn’t find you at­trac­tive. Mid­dle-age wob­bles aren’t one-sided.

GET CU­RI­OUS In­stead of feel­ing you know each other in­side out, re­con­nect through new ad­ven­tures. Sur­prise each other with ‘ex­pand­ing ac­tiv­i­ties’ – like dancing lessons to­gether. Step­ping out of your com­fort zone to­gether helps you see one an­other through new eyes.

THE ‘SMALL THINGS’ In mid­dle age, many of the ‘small things’ dis­ap­pear, too. Af­fec­tion. A hello kiss. Say­ing thank you! You’ve both been busy, bad habits creep in. Don’t take each other for granted.

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