2 The in­fan­tilised hus­band

Woman & Home (South Africa) - - Family Life -

It hap­pens ev­ery year: upon ar­rival at his child­hood home, your hus­band re­verts to overindulged son, his ev­ery need met by his dot­ing mother. Cue ex­as­per­ated eye-rolling from you. And while we tend to think of this as a mother-son phe­nom­e­non, fam­ily coun­sel­lor Denise Knowles be­lieves it can also hap­pen with fathers and daugh­ters. “If you know this is an is­sue, broach the sub­ject with your part­ner. Ex­plain what but­tons it has pushed for you in the past, whether that’s feel­ing ne­glected or nudged out. Per­haps your hus­band could chat to his mother ahead of Christ­mas, and gen­tly ex­plain your feel­ings to her.”

It’s also worth as­sess­ing your own place in their fam­ily dy­nam­ics. How can you po­si­tion your­self in the fam­ily? “If you feel in­vis­i­ble when you’re at your in-laws over Christ­mas, call or e-mail your mother-in-law in ad­vance and ask what you can do to be in­volved with prepa­ra­tions.”

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