THE APP SIDE
For the most part, I enjoyed the apps. Sure, I dealt with so many ghosters that I could open a haunted house, but I’d previously met plenty of duds in the bar too. Frankly, I was thankful for a new avenue to meet men – I was hardly being bombarded with bachelors at my women’s magazine job. But while my coupled-up mates liked hearing my dating stories, I had to live them. Eventually, I got tired. My main problem: I couldn’t deal with the amount of choice in the app world. I mildly panic when choosing a brand of muesli, so you can bet I struggled when it came to love. When there are 329 management consultants clogging up the feed on your dating app, how the hell do you figure out if Matt, 31, or Mark, 32, is your guy? Counsellor and eHarmony’s relationship expert Desiree Spierings believes the kind of exhaustion I experienced is common. “Part of the dating fatigue – not just the choice fatigue – from apps comes in because an app can’t narrow it down any further than looks. You can’t get chemistry from a picture,” she explains. “That’s why going on that first date is important, to see if chemistry is there. That’s where the fatigue comes in – you might invest time chatting online and then when you meet, the spark isn’t there.” Indeed, I learnt you have to meet up pretty quickly to assess if there’s some connection beyond your shared love of Suits season six. There’s no point texting Dave “How’s your day been?” for three weeks if he’s actually a seedy guy with a stuffed toy collection. However, this means your date tally and the time taken up in your diary can add up fairly quickly too.