I feel really silly in sexy lingerie. Do guys really care about these things?
ANSWER Lingerie is a construct. Think of it as wrapping, if you like, and you as the present. Some guys love wrapping and others don’t (they literally think a black bag does the job when handing over a pressie). Some guys will find you sexy in dungarees or a muumuu or your birthday suit, while for others simply seeing you wearing their old T-shirt will drive them over the edge. What is NB is for you to feel sexy. If you feel really uncomfortable, then don’t do it. But if you just feel silly, remember that sex – while exciting, exhilarating and fulfilling on a mental, physical and spiritual level – is also hilarious. Two adults, trying to get off, while looking half-decent... If you don’t feel a bit silly (or acknowledge the silliness of it) then you might be missing out.
MY NEW BF WAS DEVASTATED WHEN HIS EX CHEATED ON HIM AND IT STILL SEEMS TO HAUNT HIM. I ONCE CHEATED ON A GUY. DOES HE NEED TO KNOW?
ANSWER It’s hard to say. I would not volunteer that information right now because he sounds seriously hurt at the moment and may not be able to differentiate between his ex’s “crimes” and stuff that happened in your past. Why you cheated on a guy could be totally innocent and justified (he was cheating on you, the guy was a dick, the relationship was basically over)... Or maybe it was a carbon copy of what his ex did to him. It’s worth remembering that we are never exactly who we were seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years before. Who you were when you cheated on that guy is not exactly who you are now. If your new BF asks, then tell him (insert philosophical face and voice and muse wistfully about a different time). And, in the meantime, understanding how messed up he was from this stuff, keep his trauma in mind for the duration of your relationship whether it’s two months or happily ever after. If you ever do break up with him, do it with respect.
DO GUYS DECIDE TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE OF THE RIGHT GIRL – OR JUST THE RIGHT TIME?
ANSWER It’s different for every guy, but usually it’s a combo of both. Regarding the righttime side of things, it depends on what is deemed “normal” in their family or their friend group. Some guys will never get married in their 20s, no matter the girl. Others are expected to get on with it. You might find that they are part of a quick-outthe-blocks crowd. Or maybe they are bitter-enders, living it up in their 20s and 30s until they finally decide that, because everyone else is doing it, they should too, so they’re not the only single dudes at the braai. You will always get early adopters and latelies who hang on forever. Most of us fall into the middle.
50 SHADES OF BLUSHING.