I DON’T CARE THAT HE’S IN PRISON

Q I met my fiancé through an organisation that does work in prisons. He’s serving time for armed robbery and has two years to go. He told me he had a terrible childhood and that he got involved with gangs and was led astray, but now he’s found God in prison and he wants to live a decent life when he gets out.

He wants us to marry while he’s in prison so we can start our life together. What should I do? I think I love him but we haven’t spent that much time together so I’m not sure if we know each other well enough.

My parents are against us getting married as they say I don’t really know him and that what he says might not be how he really feels. Sophia, email A People do make mistakes and they can turn their lives around if they really want to. However, research indicates that the chances of someone who’s been imprisoned falling back into a life of crime after their release is high.

It would be wiser not to get married while he’s still in prison. Give him time once he’s out of prison to establish himself first and see how he copes with the outside world. Being in prison for an extended time makes it difficult to adapt to society.

Adapting to married life with a new wife at the same time will make it even more difficult.

Give yourself some time too to really get to know him under normal circumstances. Only then will you be able to see if the two of you are truly compatible. This will also give your parents the opportunity to get to know him.