THEIR SURPRISE SHOOK MY WORLD

I’m in Grade 11 and recently found out my parents are swinging with the couple next door. I was supposed to be at a friend’s house for the weekend but then came home unexpectedly on the Saturday evening to find each of my parents involved with one of the neighbours.

My parents tried to tell me it’s the first time it’s happened but they’ve been friends with the neighbours for years so I doubt it.

I find it difficult to respect my parents now in the same way I did before. I thought they were people with high moral values but now it feels as if I’m living with aliens. What do I do? Patsy, email Strictly speaking, your parents’ sex-life is their business. They tried to hide it from you but unfortunately you came home when they weren’t expecting you. It’s a shock to you but you should try not to overreact.

Your parents aren’t suddenly no longer the people you thought they were. Nobody’s only “bad” or only “good”. Human beings are more complex than that, though it’s normal for children to put their parents on a pedestal – that’s just how it works when you’re young and your parents are trying to teach you the difference between right and wrong. But as you grow up you become aware of the complexities of life and of people – unfortunately you’ve just had a rude awakening.

Try to recall the valuable life lessons your parents have taught you. Is what happened really at odds with these?

You feel their behaviour isn’t within the moral values they taught you and you can voice your disappointment in this regard, but it’s not your place to judge them.

Remember, love means accepting people with their imperfections.