I CAN’T FORGET ABOUT HIS CHEATING

‘A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing’ – IRISH DRAMATIST AND AUTHOR GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

My husband and I got married a month ago. Our relationship is fantastic and the sex is amazing.

He cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship with two women, both of whom I know.

The problem is I still think about it often and I lose my cool and start hitting him.

I don’t want to hold a grudge but I can’t stop thinking about why he did it. Wasn’t I good enough? And when I think that it makes me feel I’m still not enough. These thoughts make me even angrier and I become abusive. Please tell me how to let it go or forget about it. Katya, email At the beginning of a relationship it’s not unusual to feel a little hesitant about the finality of making a commitment. This is often when cheating happens and is sometimes a way of testing if the new relationship is worth it.

It’s likely his cheating had nothing to do with you not having been enough, but rather about him realising that your new relationship had the potential to develop into something serious and it caused him anxiety. But he must have got over that if he asked you to marry him.

You say your marriage is good and the sex is amazing. If you carry on hitting him about something that happened in the past, you risk ruining this beautiful relationship.

You’ll only be able to stop abusing him once you accept that you’re good enough. If you doubt this, you’ll continue to feel threatened. Stop questioning whether you’re good enough. You clearly are enough for him – he married you.