Barry & June’s agony over movie
June and Barry Steenkamp are devastated over the film made about Reeva and Oscar
VIOLATED. That’s how June Steenkamp feels. “Every time you think the dust is starting to settle something like this happens,” her husband, Barry, adds as he takes a deep drag from a cigarette and exhales. Barry and June were at their pub restaurant, The Barking Spider, in Greenbushes, Port Elizabeth, recently when they saw a deeply upsetting clip that someone had shared on Facebook. It was the trailer for the movie, Oscar Pistorius: Blade Runner Killer, which an American film company has made about the death of their daughter, Reeva (29).
It made them feel sick to the stomach. In the preview an actress portrays their beloved child. Dressed in lingerie, she lies in bed with the man who’d shoot her dead just a few hours later.
“I couldn’t watch the whole thing [the trailer]. At the bedroom scene I had to stop,” Barry (74) says.
His voice sounds more gravelly than it did on previous occasions when he spoke to us. He closes his eyes as if trying to find comfort in an image of the real Reeva he recalls in his mind’s eye.
But his wife watched the trailer right to the end and she says it made her “as mad as a snake”.
“Reeva was pure, wonderful and a Christian woman,” June (71) says. “She’d never have wanted to be presented in this way. They portray her as a sex kitten. It’s very, very hurtful. These people have no licence to do this. It’s not the truth. They lie!”
In the years following their daughter’s death, instead of finding peace the Steenkamps’ lives have become even more difficult. Barry has serious health issues, they can no longer afford medical aid and there’s a chance they might soon have to sell their beloved pub. And now the movie, which is being released on 11 November by Lifetime Films, which is co-owned by American entertainment giant A+E Networks, feels like salt in their wounds. It’s not yet certain when the docu-drama will hit the South African circuit.
“We’re devastated,” June says. “We wanted the movie to be stopped. I phoned my attorney immediately. The worst part is feeling helpless.”
What really got under their skin was that Lifetime didn’t approach them for their input and yet news reports have
made it sound as though the movie is told from June’s perspective. June says she can’t stand the thought that people may believe she’s cashing in on her daughter’s death. “For them to think we’d make money out of this movie! It makes me sick . . . People are so nasty.”
BARRY sits smoking in the courtyard of the home of their lawyer, Tania Koen, with a white panama hat on his head to shield him from the sun. He chats amiably about the Boks who’ll get another chance tonight to show their mettle against the All Blacks. And he’s excited about the prospect of going fishing on the Gamtoos River with his mates next week.
Although he tries his best to be cheerful he says there’s a silent rage festering inside him.
More than four years down the line he’s still going through the phases of grief. He was trying to reach acceptance but now because of the movie he’s back almost at square one: anger.
There’s no escape – every day brings fresh reminders and difficult encounters. A man recently confronted June in a shop.
“He said, ‘Someone is coming out soon.’ And added that I know who he’s talking about and that it’s time for forgiveness,” June recalls.
She says she’s forgiven Pistorius but that doesn’t mean the athlete should get off scot-free.
“He’s still going to pay for what he’s done.”
For Barry it’s still too early for forgiveness.
“I’ll forgive when I get the truth about why my daughter died. Maybe the state’s appeal will help,” he says hopefully.
On 3 November, Pistorius will be back South Africa’s Olympic sprint star Oscar Pistorius and his late model girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. in court. This time the state is appealing the sentence handed down by the high court in Pretoria which sent the Paralympian to jail for six years. It will argue that this sentence is too lenient for murder and will ask that it be lengthened to 15 years.
The couple have had no contact at all with Pistorius in the wake of their daughter’s death.
If June got the chance to speak to him, what would she say?
“I don’t want to speak to him but if I had to I’d ask him, ‘Why did you do this to our beautiful daughter? She was good and kind and loving and never harmed anyone’.”
June will be present at the sentence appeal but Barry won’t be at her side. Shortly after Reeva’s death on Valentine’s Day in 2013 he suffered a stroke and there’s concern about the toll the protracted court case could have on his health. Last year he was in hospital for a prostate biopsy but the anaesthetist detected a problem with his heart so the operation couldn’t go ahead.
His wife is now worried his anger about the movie could be the last straw. And coupled with this there’s also the stress of the impending sentence appeal. One thing’s for sure, life certainly hasn’t been easy for the couple over the past few years.
On top of Barry’s heart condition, the blood circulation in his right leg is so bad there’s a risk that it might have to be amputated. The couple have no idea
‘Reeva was pure, wonderful and a Christian woman’
where they’d find the money for such a procedure – because of their ongoing financial woes they were recently forced to cancel their medical aid. But just as they turned down Pistorius’ offer of money to compensate them for their daughter’s death there’s no way they’d have accepted any form of payment from the producers of the movie had it been offered.
“It would be blood money. Selling our daughter? Never,” says a horrified June.
But Tania says they’re not just going to turn a blind eye to the movie, and intend exploring their legal options.
“Lifetime never approached June for comment, nor was she asked to be part of the filmmaking process. She didn’t assist the producers in any way,” Tania adds.
Any impression created that the film is a reflection of June’s views or that the Steenkamps have granted their blessing for the film is untrue, she adds.
Tania has been the Steenkamps’ lawyer since 2014 during the early days of Pistorius’ trial. Like Barry, her father is also a racehorse trainer.
“I’ve known Barry for years. My stepmom, Jennifer Strydom, is June’s best friend and has been supporting her since the beginning.”
The couple say that if a movie is made about their daughter it should be done with compassion, respect and sensitivity.
When we ask June her opinion about the actress who plays Reeva her face speaks volumes.
“Don’t say anything . . .” Barry cautions, ever the diplomat.
“Let’s just say no one will ever be as beautiful as Reeva,” June says.
She wouldn’t have minded if someone like Charlize Theron had been cast in the role. “Charlize is also someone who stands up against abuse,” she explains.
June isn’t worried about who portrays her in the movie.
“They say it doesn’t look like me. I’m more worried about the script. What would I say in the movie?”
Despite the trauma, they’re able to see the lighter side of things. “Maybe Sean Connery could play Barry,” June jokes. “Or Leon Schuster . . .”
‘I’ll forgive when I get the truth about why my daughter died’
DEATH didn’t bring an end to Reeva’s suffering, June ma int a ins . “She can’t rest
in peace. She knows what’s going on and she’s also not happy.”
At least nine books have been published about the high-profile case. That’s why June decided to share her own experiences in Reeva: A Mother’s Story.
Over the past two years she was invited to travel to England, New Zealand and Australia to market the book and raise funds for the Reeva Rebecca Steenkamp Foundation against abuse of women and children.
The couple are doing everything they can to build something constructive in their daughter’s name.
“They’re trying to focus on the positive,” Tania says. And the foundation is their way of doing that – it exists to help women and children who are in abusive situations.
They give talks at schools and warn children about the dangers of abuse.
“If anyone is in danger we want to be there,” June says.
She’s often woken up in the middle of the night by phone calls from people in distress. “I don’t know where they find my number. I have to make sure how bad it is and I try to make sure they get to safety.”
But doesn’t all of this just compound all her trauma?
“It isn’t draining. It helps me go forward. You have to make something good come from this horrible thing.”
She’d like to establish a safe house next to her home in Greenbushes, but Tania is dead set against it because she believes this would make it impossible for June to get closure and stand back. But June is sticking to her guns and is determined to set up these shelters around the country to provide women who’ve been raped with basic necessities: toiletries, clean clothes, towels and a clean and safe place to sleep.
“We want to save lives,” she says. “It’s what Reeva would’ve wanted.”
While June draws comfort from throwing herself into the foundation, Barry tries to lose himself in rugby and fishing with his pals. To generate extra income he also trains eight racehorses which are currently housed in stables he’s renting. “It brings in enough money to plug the holes. I had two winning horses among them the past year or so,” he says proudly.
It’s clear his wife is his pillar of strength. People who’ve followed the trial often arrive at The Barking Spider, keen to meet Reeva’s parents and quiz them about what really happened on the fateful night. Barry doesn’t like having to answer such insensitive questions and usually directs the nosy parkers to June.
There are also those who wonder how they are coping since Reeva’s death. Do they have advice for parents who’ve lost children?
“You can’t give advice because losing a child leaves such a huge hole in your heart,” June says. “Reeva’s death is something we’re still struggling to come to terms with.
“You never get over it, you just learn to live with it. Sometimes you’re still in denial. Not believing she’s gone.
“For each parent it would also depend on how they died – Reeva was murdered. It was difficult to come to terms with how she died. If your child died after an illness, it’s a different trauma – but it’s still traumatic coming to terms with the fact that your child is gone.”
Barry would rather turn his thoughts to remembering his daughter. “I remember how beautiful she was and focus on that. And I keep busy with things that I’m passionate about. I work with racehorses, making sure they’re relaxed.”
For the couple what happened isn’t the script of a sensational movie or fodder for a bestselling book – it’s real life. It’s something they have to deal with in their every waking minute. They’re not only grieving for the daughter they adored but also for the loss of everything that might have been.
“We were deprived of her future, her career, her chance to have a wedding dress and a baby, our grandchild,” June says.
“Each day without her is a battle,” Barry adds. “It’s difficult. We still can’t come to terms [with the fact] that she’s gone. She was the perfect daughter and now these people [who are producing the movie] are twisting her memory.”