IS HE JUST NOT INTO ME ANYMORE?

I’m 56 and have been seeing a 72-year-old man for two-and-a-half years. We have lots of fun together but a few things have been bothering me lately. His Facebook status says he’s single, my name is never mentioned and I’m not allowed to post pictures of us together.

I can see him only from Friday nights until Sunday at 4pm and I always go to his place – he never fetches me. He’s been to my home only twice.

He’s sold his house in Durban and now spends weekends in Cape Town. I know there’s a woman in Cape Town who’s helping him to get his place sorted.

Our sex-life was good but now he tells me I have a high sex drive and he can’t keep up. I really love him but I don’t think he loves me. He used to buy me flowers and take me out to dinner, but no more.

I told him I feel our relationship isn’t going anywhere and I don’t want to marry him, which didn’t seem to bother him. He took the key I have for his place and I haven’t heard from him since. Karon, email

It seems you’ve had to work hard in this relationship while he hasn’t made much of an effort to make you feel nurtured, loved or valued. It seems he wants to keep his options open and be free to have relationships with other women while at the same time enjoying your companionship. Perhaps he’s gone out of his way to avoid getting attached to you because he feels that sexually he can’t keep up with you.

If you love him but don’t want to marry him then what’s stopping you from just having a good time together? Perhaps that’s what you should do and it may even make him realise he needs you more than he thinks he does – in which case he’ll have to make a decision about your relationship.

But if he’s not into you, there’s nothing you can do about that, no matter how much you love him.