TIPS TO HEAL YOURSELF

No stalking! Block your ex from your Instagram and Facebook accounts. “Seeing them pop up in your Instagram stories and on your Facebook feed can send you into a spiral of obsessively stalking them on social media, wondering how they can be moving on or even looking for the new person in their life,” US dating coach Samantha Burns says.

This is a tough one but get rid of things that remind you of your ex, either by donating them or throwing them away. When it comes to precious possessions such as jewellery or photos, Burns suggests putting them in a break-up box where you can keep them until you’re less angry or heartbroken and more ready to look back fondly at your memories. “After all, this relationship was part of your life experience,” she says. Get some fresh air. Being in nature is healing and helps to clear your head. Make sure you eat well, drink enough water, sleep, exercise and continue doing things that bring you pleasure. It might be tempting to ditch everything that could be good for you as a form of self-punishment or self-pity, but it will only make you feel worse.

Don’t isolate yourself. Staying connected to your close friends and family is vital to your recovery. They know you might not be great company right now, and that’s okay. But it’s a balancing act. Don’t avoid your sadness by being too social, going out and drinking too much or working all hours. Time alone to fall apart, grieve and meditate helps you move through this time more quickly. The quickest way to the other side of a long, lonely, scary tunnel is straight through, couples counsellor Carol Nader says. Embrace your new reality, feel the feelings, fall apart, be a mess. That’s fine. It’s normal.