I’M WORRIED ABOUT HER DRINKING

My girlfriend and I have been together for three years and have also lived together. I’m on the verge of asking her to marry me, but my only reservation is that she tends to drink too much alcohol and sometimes goes on a drug spree for a month or so.

She assures me she can handle it and that she’s not addicted to alcohol or drugs, but I’m still concerned. I don’t want the mother of my child to be addicted to alcohol or drugs as I’ve read about the terrible effects this can have on the unborn child.

What should I do? Donavon, email

Many people who are already addicted to alcohol or drugs or who have started down that path convince themselves that they’re in control when the fact of the matter is that they’re not.

They’re in fact relinquishing self-control for the temporary release alcohol and drugs provide.

I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to venture into marriage with your girlfriend just yet. Talk to her about her behaviour and tell her you’ll continue the relationship only if she’s willing to admit that she has a problem and go to a rehabilitation centre and work through this problem.

She should also ideally see a therapist on an outpatient basis once she’s discharged to help her with the issues that are causing her to use alcohol and drugs to find life enjoyable or tolerable.

If she’s willing to do so, take things one step at a time and let her therapist guide you regarding her prognosis in future.