HE’S BORED WITH OUR SEX-LIFE

My husband has told me he’s bored with our relationship and in particular our sex-life. We’ve been married for eight years. He’s suggested we stay married but date other people to get spice into our lives. He’s also mentioned threesomes and other sexual adventures.

Apparently he knows of a place where you go for dinner and at the end of the night you have sex with one of the other guests with no strings attached. It all happens with very low lighting so you have little idea of what the person looks like.

I must admit I’ve found a few of my husband’s suggestions sexy and tempting, but I’m concerned once the barn door is opened all sorts of animals can come in, and that it could possibly ruin our marriage. Marinda, email

It seems your husband’s idea of spicing things up essentially involves other people and introducing shady behaviour. Making your sex-life interesting again doesn’t have to mean going down this path; it should rather lie in deepening your sexual interaction and connection with each other.

By all means be more daring but do it within the boundaries of your relationship. Do the sort of things you enjoyed when you were younger, like making love in your swimming pool or garden. You can be adventurous and still respect the privacy of your sexual relationship.

You could also look at your lifestyle to see if there are ways to make it more exciting – too much routine or work could be making your husband desperate for something to shake things up.

Your gut instinct is right – involving other people and deviant sexual behaviour doesn’t bode well for the two of you. It could become addictive or irrevocably damage your marriage.