SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS INFERTILE

I’m a 40-year-old married man with a good job. My wife and I don’t have children as she told me before we wed that she was infertile and I accepted this. I married her when we were both 20 but I’ve found myself pining for parenthood over the years.

The problem is my wife has now informed me she’s pregnant with her lover’s child and she wants a divorce.

She tells me she was misinformed about her infertility but I don’t actually believe her because we haven’t used any contraceptives – not to my knowledge anyway.

I also had myself tested and there’s no reason why I can’t father children. So she must have secretly used contraceptives so she wouldn’t fall pregnant.

I feel cheated, lied to and betrayed. What should I do? Your wife’s story that she was “misinformed” is strange. It’s likely she knew all along that she could have children but used contraceptives without your knowledge because she didn’t want children with you. Once she had a lover she might have felt differently about having kids and allowed herself to fall pregnant.

It’s normal to feel betrayed and it will take a while for you to recover from this, but it would be best for you to divorce her as soon as possible.

She’s made her intentions very clear so rather end this chapter in your life and start afresh. Find someone who’s worthy of your love and with whom you can have children. You’re still young enough to become a dad for the first time. Focus on the positive spin-off – that you don’t have to give up your dream of becoming a father.