Ask Dr Louise

‘About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all’ – US WRITER RITA MAE BROWN

Q

One of these days I’ll be 45 and I hate the idea. I was a model when I was younger and men fell over their feet to date me. I got married at 30 and divorced at 40 – my husband cheated on me with a much younger woman and told me he thought I was past my “sell-by date”.

I feel as if my life is over and I no longer get any looks from men in the street or the mall.

How do I get back into the swing of things again and boost my selfconfidence? I still want to enjoy life. Anonymous, email

A

Your ex-husband was a cruel, selfish man and you’re well rid of him. Why do you believe someone who clearly doesn’t have much depth to his personality and focuses only on physical appearance? Research indicates most women are in their prime at the age of 40 to 45.

But you need to stop evaluating yourself only in terms of your physical appearance. There’s much more to human beings than what they look like – we have emotions, personality, wisdom and character, and all have our own personal charm.

The secret of growing old gracefully is to view yourself as a sensual, sexual woman regardless of your age. Older women can be very attractive, charming and breathtaking in their own way.

Stop trying to be what you think men want you to be, give yourself a bit of a makeover to make yourself feel good and cultivate friends who appreciate you for who you are.