Ask Dr Louise

Q I feel very lonely and isolated from people. I’ve just gotten divorced as my husband fell in love with another woman and left me for her. I’m 46 and she’s much younger than me. My husband and I have two children who are in their early twenties so they’re independent and busy with their own lives. Although my sons try to be there for me, I know they must lead their own lives and can’t be with me all the time.

My husband and I were always very private and didn’t have any friends to speak of. I lost my parents when I was young and don’t have any siblings so I’m alone in the world and don’t have a support system. What do I do now? How do I go on living? Zelda, email A You’re still referring to him as your husband. He’s your ex now and you need to forget about him and the other woman and what they may be up to. It’s your time now. You’re still young enough to fully enjoy life, but in order to do so you need to change your mindset.

Do the following: firstly, see the next part of your life as a new chapter rather than the end of something. Secondly, re-evaluate yourself. Give yourself a makeover, decide what it is you like doing and will spend your time on, think about the sort of lifestyle you want to pursue and put together a bucket list for the next few years of your life.

Then start putting these dreams into action. For example, if you decided you want to make new friends (which you should), go to places where you’re likely to meet people with similar interests to yours. For instance, if you’re the nature-loving type, join a wildlife society or a hiking club.

Dating sites can help if you want to meet a new romantic partner but they can also be disappointing. It would be easier to meet someone through a hobby – at least you’d know the person has similar interests to yours. You can strike up a friendship first and get to know them without any pressure and you don’t have to feel like a mare up for auction.