Oscar Pistorius’ family talk about his life behind bars
On the eve of his 32nd birthday, his family talk about what life is like for him – and for them
HE’S missed out on a lot during his time behind bars. Christmases, birthdays, family celebrations – and recently when Oscar Pistorius’ beloved grandfather died he missed out on the chance to be at his bedside. When Hendrik Pistorius passed away last month at the age of 101 he was surrounded by loved ones. Even though Oscar was just 13 kilometres away he couldn’t join his family in the room at Zuid-Afrikaans Hospital in Pretoria when his grandfather gave his final breath.
Just like he’ll be conspicuous by his absence at other family gatherings for many years to come.
It was behind bars at Atteridgeville prison that Oscar – who’s serving a 13year sentence for the 2013 Valentine’s Day shooting of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp (29) – heard about his grandfather’s death. For the Pistoriuses Hendrik, or Oupi as they affectionately called him, wasn’t only the family patriarch – he was the glue that kept the family together.
Hendrik and his wife, Gerti – who died in 2016 aged 92 – have four sons: Theo (73), Arnold (67), Oscar’s dad, Henke (65), and Leo (56), and three daughters, Sonia Grobler (71), Heidi Drew (70) and Reine Malan (62).
Apparently news of Hendrik’s death hit Oscar really hard.
“He was terribly upset,” Heidi says. She lives in Cape Town but spoke to her nephew over the phone two days after Hendrik died.
She says being stuck in prison makes processing his grandfather’s death even harder for Oscar.
“We can all go on with our lives but he’s sitting in a jail cell,” Heidi says. “He’s not surrounded by family and that makes it a thousand times harder when these things happen. There’s no one to comfort him there. We have one another. But who does he have?”
At the time of going to print prison authorities had reportedly granted the athlete permission to attend his grandfather’s memorial service, which was scheduled to take place on 13 November at the Kleinkaap Boutique Hotel in Centurion. The hotel is owned by Reine.
In August 2017, Oscar was allowed out of jail to attend the memorial service for his maternal grandmother, Joyce Bekker (93). That same month his grandfather turned 100 – but the family had to go ahead and celebrate the landmark birthday without Oscar.
And when the Paralympian’s 32nd birthday rolls around later this month the occasion will pass without ceremony. Sonia, who lives in Stellenbosch, says more than anything she’d love to be able to present him with a scrumptious plate of food.
“But you’re not allowed to do that – not even on his birthday,” she laments. “You can’t even take him a slab of chocolate.”
In terms of his sentencing, which the Supreme Court of Appeal in Bloemfontein increased by seven years in 2017, Oscar will be eligible for parole only in 2023. So his family have no choice but to go on with their lives.
But for Henke and Oscar’s brother, Carl (33), and sister, Aimée (29), this is easier said than done. How can they enjoy themselves while Oscar is spending his days in the cold solitude of a jail cell?
NOT A day goes by that he doesn’t worry about his youngest son, Henke tells YOU. “You think about it every day – especially in winter and at night, when you wonder if he has enough blankets. In time it gets better but it’s still hard.”
His only comfort is that his son is doing well under the circumstances. Oscar cultivates a veggie garden in prison and is also the leader of a Bible study group, Henke says.
Meanwhile Aimée has spread her wings and has been living in London since 2016, working for a financial group.
Henke, who refers to his daughter as his baby, says she’ll be home for Hendrik’s memorial.
“She’ll probably visit for a few days. She’s doing well – her focus is on her work. But until Oscar’s situation changes, it’ll put a damper on many things.”
From social media it’s clear Aimée is doing a lot of travelling. In October she was pictured with her cousin Amoré Pistorius in New York and later that month she went to Barcelona, Spain, for a friend’s hen party. In pictures the group of bridesmaids are seen partying in matching swimsuits on a yacht, sparkling wine apparently flowing freely.
In June, Aimée attended the Chestertons Polo in the Park event in London, which is regarded as one of the highlights of the English summer, and during the year Carl visited her in the British capital.
Henke says things are also going well for Carl, who apparently works in IT in Johannesburg. “He’s a strong guy.”
But it’s his younger son that everyone is worried about.
Heidi says many family members who are travelling to the memorial service have arranged their plans so they can visit him in jail.
She recalls how during Oscar’s trial the relatives attending the hearings would gather at Arnold’s home beforehand.
“Then we’d hold hands and pray for [Oscar].”
As her nephew prepares to spend yet another birthday behind bars on 22 November she wishes him the strength to persevere.
“We’ll be here the day he’s released,” she says.
She and Sonia visit Oscar whenever they can.
“The saddest is having to leave him behind each time,” Sonia says. “We’re all praying for him, that he’ll get through this and keep his faith.”
OSCAR’S former girlfriend Jenna Edkins, who supported him throughout his trial, is also carrying on with her life. Her mother, Carey Rothwell, recently posted a picture taken at the University of the Witwatersrand (Wits) of her in a graduation robe. Jenna and Oscar were an item from 2008 to 2011 and remained friends after their break-up. In 2016 their romance apparently rekindled and Jenna was spotted at the high court in Pretoria. At the time it was rumoured she was planning to wait for him to complete his jail sentence. Henke can’t or won’t say if she’s still in Oscar’s life. “What I can tell you is Jenna is a star. All of us have always loved her very much.” In the meantime Oscar is diligently serving his sentence. “It’s not acceptable to me that he’s there,” Henke says. “The process of getting him released sooner isn’t over – it’ll only be over when we’ve exhausted all our options.” Despite everything, he remains proud of his son. “He’s doing well. He has a Bible study group. Oscar has been religious his entire life. “I remember when he was in high school he and two friends used to have weekly Bible study meetings.” Having the vegetable garden to tend to also helps, Henke says. Oscar has been described as a model prisoner. “He’s in the best [emotional] space in his life since the tragedy,” his father reveals. Henke says that instead of moping Oscar has accepted his situation. “All three of my children are like that,” he says. “They take control.” S