HE SAYS MONEY MEANS HE CAN’T BE WITH ME

My boyfriend and I broke up a year ago, then got back together three months ago. He then had a one-night stand and I forgave him although he wouldn’t talk about what led him to do it. Then three weeks later he told me he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship because he wasn’t in a good financial situation at the moment.

He says he loves me but we can’t be together right now as he can’t provide for me. He says maybe once he’s financially secure we can pick up where we left off.

I said I love him regardless of his financial status and think we can build things up together, but he’s chosen silence.

What should I make of this? Did he realise he doesn’t want to be with me? He says I’m the one for him and the time just isn’t right for us, but I don’t know if I believe him. Bulelwa, email A good relationship can’t be dependent on financial status because people are so much more than simply the amount of money they earn or have.

Your ex-boyfriend might have felt pressured because you lived together and he might have felt he had to provide for you.

It would be wise for you to give attention to your own financial situation and make sure you can support yourself. It’s important as a young woman that you are financially independent – not only so you can do the things you want to do, but so you don’t find yourself dependent on a man and stuck in the relationship if it isn’t what you want.

If your ex was feeling pressurised and sees that you’re doing your own thing, he’ll hopefully be able to relax about money and realise there’s more to the relationship than his financial status.

‘You cannot want more for people than they want for themselves’ – JOHNNIE DENT JNR, AUTHOR OF A JOURNEY INTO MANHOOD