YOU (South Africa) - - YOU LIFESTYLE - ASK DR LOUISE Write to Dr Louise, PO Box 39410, Morele­ta­park 0044, or email [email protected]­

Q My wife and I re­cently at­tended a posh event and while we were there a man I don’t know came up to me and told me she’s worth pay­ing for.

I kept my cool and chat­ted with him – which is how I dis­cov­ered my wife is work­ing as a pros­ti­tute. She was un­able to deny it later when I con­fronted her.

When I asked her why she’s do­ing this (we cer­tainly don’t need the money as I have a good in­come), she told me she’s ad­dicted to sex and al­though we have a good sex-life it’s not enough for her and her crav­ing led to her pros­ti­tut­ing her­self.

She also told me she’s ad­dicted to the idea of be­ing “used” by men, which for the life of me I can’t un­der­stand. I’m so shocked that I don’t know what to do.

I love my wife but ab­hor what she’s do­ing. It has made me lose all re­spect for her. What should I do? Bar­ron, email A Your wife has se­ri­ous prob­lems which are putting her health and life at risk – not to men­tion the hap­pi­ness of her mar­riage. Be­ing ad­dicted to sex is a men­tal ill­ness. Some peo­ple have sado-masochis­tic ten­den­cies and play these out in sex­ual games with their part­ner, but your wife is play­ing it out in a far more dan­ger­ous way.

You have some se­ri­ous in­tro­spec­tion ahead of you. Do you love your wife enough to re­ally try to un­der­stand her prob­lem? Are you will­ing to help her try to solve it with­out be­ing an­gry with her?

Your feel­ings are bound to be com­plex, so it might help if you con­sult with a psy­chol­o­gist to work through it all and fig­ure out if you can carry on with this re­la­tion­ship.

In the mean­time, whether you and your wife choose to get di­vorced or not, she needs psy­cho­log­i­cal and pos­si­bly even psy­chi­atric help. With sex­ual de­viances, hyp­no­sis is of­ten help­ful in ac­cess­ing the work­ings of the sub­con­scious mind.

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