MY HUBBY IS A FLIRT AND WON’T ADMIT IT

My husband wants everybody to like him and often oversteps the boundaries with women – especially attractive women. They see his behaviour as a come-on and then want to start an affair with him.

He always seems so amazed when this happens and tells me that he did nothing to elicit such behaviour, but I don’t think that’s true. He’s a very attractive man and any woman would feel flattered and special if someone like him makes a fuss of them.

I trust my husband and know he’s never had an affair but he’s definitely setting something in motion with the way he behaves. How do I make him understand that his behaviour is prompting the response he gets from women? Marianne, email It sounds as if your husband is hooked on flirtation. He clearly likes attention and wants to feel special, and it may even be that he’s unconsciously evoking that kind of response from women. However, he’s a handsome man so I am inclined to think he must be aware of the dynamics.

If you tell him that you think he may be doing it without even being aware of it, his response is likely to be that you have nothing to worry about as it’s just innocent flirting.

Explain to him that while it’s innocent on his part it’s a real problem for you and you’d like him to stop doing it. If he’s unwilling to change his behaviour, suggest he consults with a psychologist to talk it through. A professional could help him explore why he needs to push the boundaries and evoke such a reaction in women.

‘In leadership, life and all things it’s far wiser to judge people by their deeds than their speech – their track record rather than their talk’ – LIFE COACH AND AUTHOR RASHEED OGUNLARU