Duane Vermeulen’s dad remembered
The Bok victory was a bittersweet moment for Duane Vermeulen and his family
IT’S bound to go down as one of the most enduring images of the world cup: hulking Duane Vermeulen – all 1,93m and 117kg of him – sobbing his eyes out after the Boks won the tournament. The moment was especially memorable because it was so unexpected – just minutes earlier the determined loose forward had been tearing down the pitch in Yokohama, Japan, unleashing bone-crunching tackles that stopped his England opponents in their tracks. But then there he stood, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Duane (33) later revealed what had made him cry – it was something assistant coach Matt Proudfoot had said to him. As they embraced at the end of the match, Matt whispered in his ear, “This was for him.”
He was referring to the star player’s father. Even though André Vermeulen died when Duane was a boy he’s never far from his thoughts. More than anything Duane wished his dad could be there to share this proud moment and see him being awarded man of the match in a world cup final. And Matt understood this.
“That’s something special to hear from a coach, and when he said that, the tears started rolling and I just couldn’t stop them,” Duane says.
Half a world away in the packed Mustangs bar in Mbombela, Mpumalanga, there was somebody who knew exactly what was going through his mind.
Estelien Vermeulen’s cheeks were also wet with tears after she’d watched her son play the match of his career.
“A mom’s heart can’t bear it. I know what the saying ‘ bursting with pride’ means now,” she says.
Ironically, the thing that’s bringing Estelien so much joy is the same thing that once stripped her of hope. Just like her son, her husband was a talented player – but he was cut down by cancer in his prime 25 years ago.
As she celebrated Duane’s victory with friends in the bar, memories of that difficult time came flooding back. “You can’t help but look back on your life,” she says. “Not to get mired down – just a quick glance over your shoulder to recall how painful it was. “You think you’ll never smile again. Then, one day, your son tells you he wants to play rugby – like his dad. And soon you find yourself smiling again.”
HER home on an estate in Mbombela reflects the pride she takes in her children. Pictures showing tender moments with her daughter, Leandi (27), adorn walls and mantelpieces along with mementos of Duane’s rugby career.
“My children are my whole world,” she says, showing us a picture of Duane at an earlier Springbok event.
The week before the world cup final she was so nervous she couldn’t sleep.
“I wandered the house like a ghost,” she recalls. “Then I’d watch some of the previous games, talking to myself in the midnight hours.
“But on the day itself I was calm – I knew we’d win the cup. And we did.”
Duane being named man of the match was the cherry on top. But they could speak to each other only on the Sunday morning after the game.
“I video-called him and all I could say was, ‘Well done, boet.’ He was bare-chested, wearing the medal around his neck. I asked if he’d slept yet and he said, ‘Sleep? Nah – I can’t sleep, Mom’.”
But only those close to the Vermeulens know of all the trials that came before the triumph.
The young family’s idyllic life in Vredenburg on the West Coast came to an abrupt end when André, a farmer who used to play club rugby, arrived home one day in 1994 with the shocking news that he’d been diagnosed with cancer. Doctors said an old rugby injury had caused a tumour that became malignant and the cancer had already spread.
“When he was still relatively healthy we both worked on the farm we were managing but at one point I had to take over the work,” Estelien says.
“Those were difficult years. We had to put food on the table and you wonder how you’re going to get through it.”
As her husband lay dying, Estelien made herself a promise: that Duane (then 7) and Leandi (then 2) would never want for anything.
A while after André’s death, in 1997, she and her kids moved in with her parents, Daan Snr and Lourencia, on their farm at Mbombela and she got a job as a broker’s assistant.
“The next thing I knew, Duane told me he wanted to play rugby, like his dad.
“My brother, Daan, and brotherin-law, Johan, would play rugby with him for hours and we all soon realised how talented he was.
“I used to cheer myself hoarse when he p l ayed matches at school and then at university.”
She makes no apologies for the amount of noise she makes when she’s supporting her son.
“Look, I’m not the silent type. I yell. And I advise from the sidelines. Duane didn’t always like it – when he was young he told me one day, ‘Mom, not so loud!’ But I can’t help it.”
Estelien recalls how hard she and her son worked to get him where he is today.
“We had to make lots of plans to pay for things – new boots because he was growing so fast, yet another tour . . . But we always made a plan.
“There was some criticism that hurt. In high school a coach told him he was too big and clumsy, but that didn’t stop him – he kept training until he made the first team.”
In his matric year at Hoërskool Nelspruit he worked extra hard to try to earn a scholarship to the University of Pretoria but he was unsuccessful.
He was eventually awarded one to the University of Johannesburg where he studied to be a chef for a term before being recruited by the Pumas.
“Yes, rugby is in his genes but he worked hard – he was dedicated and focused.
“He had one goal and knew he had to work to realise it. And he did,” the proud mom says.
SOMETIMES old fears crop up, she says. “I know all rugby players can get hurt at any moment. It was the worst for me when Duane spent so much time playing overseas. I’d see pictures of him with a bloodied or bruised eye and my heart would sink. “I told him, ‘You just make sure you’re never in that scrum – my heart can’t bear it.’ And yet my heart’s been bearing it all these years!” Estelien is looking forward to another great moment for her family: Leandi’s upcoming wedding to Jeandré Kotze (27). Duane will be a groomsman and his wife, Ezel, will be a bridesmaid. The couple have two children, Andru (6) and Zian (3). “It’s been an incredibly good year for us – a beautiful one,” Estelien says. “To think there can be so much pain and grief and the next moment so much joy you can hardly believe how happy you are.”