Ask Dr Louise

I met a man two years ago and immediately fell in love with him. He has a forceful personality and made me feel safe when I was with him. But I’ve noticed that over the course of our relationship he’s isolated me from my friends. He has a problem with each of them and doesn’t want me to go out without him. He also wants me to tell him where I am 24/7.

I used to spend time on Sundays with my parents and siblings because I don’t see them during the week but he wants me to spend that time with him too. He says my relationship with him is more important than with them. When I try to involve him in our Sunday activities he refuses and says he wants me all to himself. Why is he doing this? Margret, email

The way your boyfriend is behaving is a red flag. He’s possessive and wants to isolate you from friends and family so he has more control over you. Don’t let him convince you that it’s because he cares for you. He’s a control freak and continuing this relationship with him is likely to have serious consequences for you.

If someone really loves you in a healthy way, he should be willing to include the other people in your life (friends and family) in his life as well. In fact, a mentally healthy person would want you to have your own friends and interests outside of your relationship, as well as good relationships with your family.

Instead he seems to want you to simply do his bidding. It’s not healthy and you should get out of the relationship immediately.