I’M RELIEVED MY SON HAS MOVED OUT

My 18-year-old son moved back to his father at the beginning of the year after I married my soulmate. My son has narcissistic personality tendencies and has, over the course of the past months, managed to estrange my adult daughter from me.

Does it make me a bad mother if I decide to walk away from his abuse and start living on my own terms? If I don’t contact my kids, I simply don’t hear from them.

I’ve always put my needs on the backburner and ensured my children not only had what they needed, but what their hearts desired, with minimal contribution from my ex-husband.

My new husband has been a better father to my son than his own father was. I’m overcome with relief that my son is no longer living with me but this also scares me – surely it can’t be natural for a mom to feel like this? Should I have it out with him or let sleeping dogs lie? Relieved yet scared, email

Your kids are adults now and have to fend for themselves. They have to learn not to simply take all the time, but also to give. This should be the basis of any good relationship.

Leave things as they are for now and allow them to grow up a bit more. Time has a way of showing us our mistakes and your children may realise as they mature how they made things difficult for you and exactly how much you did for them. They may even initiate a reconciliation, assuming your ex doesn’t influence them against you.

Perhaps you could just remind your children every now and then that you still think about them and that you’re there if they want to have contact with you. There’s only so much you can do. In the meantime, enjoy the happiness you’ve found and don’t let your children spoil it for you.

‘If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent’ – US ACTRESS BETTE DAVIS