Ben’s biggest regret

‘There’s a lot of alcoholism and mental illness in my family’ – BEN AFFLECK

IT WAS a vicious cycle. When BEN AFFLECK’s marriage started floundering he drank more, and by drinking more he deepened the fault lines in his relationship. The actor has revealed his inner torment while on a big press tour promoting his upcoming movie, The Way Back. With painful honesty he’s come clean about his battle with alcohol addiction and the way it destroyed his marriage to JENNIFER GARNER.

“The biggest regret of my life is this divorce,” he recently told the New York Times. “Shame is really toxic. There’s no positive byproduct of shame. It’s just stewing in a toxic, hideous feeling of low self-worth and self-loathing.”

“What happened was that I started drinking more and more when my marriage was falling apart,” the 47-year-old says. “This was 2015, 2016.

“My drinking, of course, created more marital problems.

“I didn’t want to get divorced, I didn’t want to be a divorced person. I really didn’t want to be a split family. It upset me because it meant I wasn’t who I thought I was and that was so painful and so disappointing. [I was disappointed] in myself.”

The two filed for divorce in 2017 after 10 years of marriage, but Jennifer (47) has remained by his side as he publicly embarks on his sobriety journey.

During a sit-down with Diane Sawyer for news show Good Morning America, Ben passed along a note with a message for the host to read on air to his ex-wife. “What I want to say publicly and privately is, ‘Thank you. Thank you for being thoughtful, considerate, responsible, and a great mom and person’ ,” the journalist read.

The star, who’s completed three bouts of rehab – in 2001, 2017, and 2018 – also touched on his highly publicised battle with booze.

“Relapse is embarrassing, obviously,” he said referring to his most recent fall off the wagon in October last year. “I wish it didn’t happen. I really wish it wasn’t on the internet for my kids to see. Jen and I did our best to address it and be honest.”

He also said fellow actors Bradley Cooper and Robert Downey Jnr, who’d also battled alcoholism in the past, have been supportive, adding he feels a great sense of gratitude towards them.

“It took me a long time to fundamentally, deeply, without a hint of doubt, admit to myself that I’m an alcoholic. The next drink won’t be different.”