Prince William on Diana & fatherhood
Prince William has opened up about how the anguish of losing his mom affected his experience of fatherhood
HE’S always been the stoic one – serious, sombre and somewhat in the background as the spotlight shines brightly on his wife and kids. Yet every so often there are glimpses of a warm, loving man, especially when his young brood are about. There’s been a hug for George here, a cuddle for Charlotte there and a look of love for little Louis as he discovers something new to share. But mostly Prince William has maintained his stiff upper lip in public – until now.
The Duke of Cambridge opens up in a new documentary, Football, Prince William and our Mental Health, sharing some of his most personal revelations yet. Parenthood is “one of the most amazing moments of life – but also one of the scariest,” he says in a conversation with former England Under-21 soccer player Marvin Sordell.
In the documentary William (37) and the footballer speak about how their traumatic childhood experiences shaped their approach to parenting.
“It was the hardest time of my life,” Marvin says of becoming a dad three years ago. “I grew up without my father. And now I’ve got a child. I don’t really know how I’m dealing with this and I really struggled with my emotions at that time.”
Marvin’s battle with depression and consequent suicide attempt forced him to retire from soccer last year at the age of 28.
“I can relate to what you’re saying,” says William, who’s dad to Prince George (6), Princess Charlotte (5) and Prince Louis (2).
“Having children is the biggest life-changing moment. It really is.
“I think when you’ve been through something traumatic in life like you say, your dad not being around, my mother dying when I was younger, your emotions come back in leaps and bounds because it’s a different phase of life and there’s no one there to kind of help you.
“I definitely found it at times overwhelming.”
WILLIAM is known for being a hands-on dad who doesn’t leave the business of child rearing to his wife, Kate, Duchess of Cambridge (38). He reads them bedtime stories, plays games with them and helps with home-schooling.
He’s often made jokes about the trials of fatherhood.
When George was born in 2013, William said he’s “a little rascal who wriggles around a lot.
“The only legacy I want to pass on to him is to sleep more and maybe not have to change his nappy so many times.”
His public appearances with his young family are nothing like that of him as a young boy with his father, Prince Charles (71).
Instead William is much more like his mom, affectionate and warm with his kids.
Diana’s tragic death in 1997 aged 36 underpinned all William’s anxieties about becoming a parent. The grief he’d suppressed for years resurfaced when his own children were born.
William reveals that after he and Kate welcomed Charlotte in 2015 he’d be moved to tears at “the smallest thing”.
“It puts it all in perspective,” he says. “The idea of not being around to see your children grow up.”
Former royal photographer Kent Gavin says Diana’s death wrecked William’s confidence and caused him to retreat into his shell.
In the 2013 documentary Royalty Close Up: The Photography of Kent Gavin, the photojournalist details the struggle of William and his brother, Prince Harry (now 35), with the media.
“They weren’t always with their head down. They were chirpy, like any boys would be,” Kent says.
“You could see the change coming in and Diana was so proud of these boys – and again, you could see the progression of confidence that was coming about in the boys.”
But it all changed when Diana died. “After that William then went back into his shell.”
William has described his mother’s death as a “pain like no other”.
“I think when you’re bereaved at a young age, anytime really, but particularly at a young age – I can resonate closely to that – you feel a pain like no other pain,” he said last year.
“And you know that in your life it’s going to be difficult to come across something that’s going to be an even worse pain than that.”
Having children brought home to the second-in-line to the British throne just how vulnerable they are.
His work as a pilot in the air ambulance service also affected his mental health because he had to deal with horrific accidents, some involving kids.
“He said he felt vulnerable and there were periods of time where he was dealing with traffic collisions involving children that had brought him to the brink, I remember him saying,” royal commentator Russell Myers recalls.
“That obviously does help a lot of people to try to quantify their own mental sufferings.”
MENTAL health is a cause close to William’s heart. “You can’t be ashamed of it,” he says. “You’ve got to be able to look it in the eye and go, ‘I’m going to deal with it. Here we go!’”
It’s a cause he hopes his new documentary will highlight. The campaign features several well-known British footballers and managers and tells stories of men who’ve been affected by mental health problems.
“Our ambition is to start the largestever conversation on mental health and
Sto ensure there’s a lasting mental health legacy for the game in this country,” says William, who’s president of England’s Football Association, of the campaign.
Fortunately he has his wife to lean on when it all becomes overwhelming. He tells Marvin he and Kate work through the low moments as a team.
“Me and Catherine, particularly, we support each other, and we go through those moments together and we kind of evolve and learn together.”
He also often shares memories of “Granny Diana” with his kids.
“So I – regularly when putting George or Charlotte to bed – talk about her and just try to remind them there are two grandmothers,” he said in a previous interview.
He also shared what she would’ve been like with them. “She’d love the children to bits but she’d be an absolute nightmare,” he joked.
“She’d probably come at bath time, cause an amazing amount of scene, bubbles everywhere, bathwater all over the place – and then leave.”
But he loved that about her and she influenced his parenting style in a big way, he says. “I want to take as much time and effort as I can [with them] because I realise that these early years particularly are crucial for children, and having seen, you know, what she did for us.”
In the documentary William reminds Marvin he’ll be a fantastic dad. “Your dad would be proud of you,” he says.
“So would your mom,” Marvin says. To which the duke replies, “I appreciate that.”