Row over ‘rehoming’ of adopted boy
Two social media influencers have caused an outcry after giving up the special needs child they adopted
TO THEIR thousands of followers, they were the picture-perfect family: the wholesome blonde mom, the devoted husband, their four beautiful biological children – and the gorgeous special needs boy they adopted from China who helped them become YouTube sensations.
Companies fell over themselves to sponsor posts on parenting and lifestyle on influencer Myka Stauffer’s channel – including actress Kate Hudson’s sportswear initiative Fabletics.
But one by one sponsors pulled out as a backlash against Myka and her husband, James, rages unabated. Their online empire looks set to crumble after it emerged the made-in-Instagram-heaven life they created was little more than a lie.
The couple recently admitted they’ve given up on Huxley, the now five-yearold boy they adopted, because his needs turned out to be more than they could handle. Their fans were shocked and have branded them hypocrites and monsters.
In an emotional video that quickly went viral, Myka (33) and James (34) announced they’d “rehomed” Huxley because of his medical and behavioural issues.
He now has a new “forever family”, Myka says, living with a new mommy who as a medical professional is better equipped to cope with his challenges – which is ironic, critics point out, as Myka is a trained nurse.
“There were a lot of special needs we weren’t aware of,” James says. They don’t give much detail of his needs “out of respect for Huxley’s privacy” and also don’t disclose where he’s now living.
But it seems no one knows where Huxley is and the Stauffers are being investigated by authorities in a bid to establish his whereabouts and determine the exact circumstances around the new adoption.
Meanwhile, Myka has scrubbed her Instagram feed of all traces of Huxley, leaving only images of her biologi
cal children – Nakova (8), Jaka (6), Radley (4) and Onyx (11 months).
THE moment Myka and James laid their eyes on Huxley they were smitten. “We just knew he was our little guy,” Myka said in 2017 of the then twoand-a-half year-old boy. “The first night after we saw him, I couldn’t get his face out of my head. James and I both prayed and reflected on what it could mean for our family and our potential new son. Ultimately, his sad little face won our hearts over.”
Huxley’s special need was listed by Chinese adoption authorities as brain damage. “His file stated he had a brain tumour,” Myka said. “As an oncology nurse, tumours didn’t scare me.
“When we came home, we experienced a big surprise with inaccurate file information. Our son ended up having [had] a stroke in utero, has level 3 autism and sensory processing disorder.
“It took time to process and readjust to his new diagnosis. We spent 10 months preparing for brain tumours [before he came home] and never once did I read about autism or stroke damage – it was a curveball.”
But the Stauffers were at pains to tell their more than 700 000 followers on YouTube and 200 000 fans on Instagram that the new info didn’t deter them.
“Today, he’s four,” she wrote last year, “and just starting to form words and repeat some of the words he hears and he also has over 15 signs. He’s a great kid and his condition doesn’t involve that much overall care – all you need is a big heart and to practise patience every day.”
Myka became a spokesperson for international adoption and told her followers “adoption is amazing, no matter how the child is adopted. It’s not easy, you’ll second guess yourself, but you’ll get through it and never imagine your life without that child. James and I are better parents to all of our other children because of it.”
So what happened then? All Myka is saying is that “multiple scary things happened inside the home towards our other children”.
“And if these events happened with one of my biological kids, after all the help and after the behaviours we witnessed, sadly we’d have no other choice than to seek help and get their needs met.”
Myka and James have tried to defend their choice by claiming – somewhat improbably – that Huxley supported the move to be rehomed. “Huxley wanted this decision 100%,” Myka wrote on social media.
“We saw that in family time with other people he constantly chose them and showed tons of emotion to show us and let us know he wanted this one.”
She adds she and James tried their best with Huxley.
“There wasn’t a minute that we didn’t try our hardest. After multiple evaluations, numerous medical professionals have felt he needed a different fit and that with his medical needs, he needed more.”
THE backlash has been swift and brutal. Muddying the water is the fact the Stauffers didn’t hesitate to make Huxley part of the story they peddled about themselves on social media and he often starred in sponsored posts.
In addition to the Myka Stauffer YouTube channel, the family also had The Stauffer Life channel which dealt with their day-to-day life. James, a mechanical engineer, ran a channel called Stauffer Garage – about how to deep-clean filthy cars – with more than 500 000 fans.
The family’s lucrative contracts with baby food and product manufacturers had a lot to do with adorable Hux.
The addition of the photogenic child and the emotional story behind his adoption helped garner the Stauffers tens of thousands more followers which in turn meant they could charge their sponsors more. There are calls for the Stauffers to donate or return all proceeds from content that featured Huxley.
“The situation with Myka Stauffer is so upsetting,” one person wrote on Twitter. “[Children] aren’t a dog you adopted from the pound that you get to return if they aren’t a good fit.”
One woman called Cleary, a Korean who was adopted by Americans, asks: “Would parents be just as likely to place for adoption their biological children who have special needs? I’d lean towards no. That then adds a stigma to adopted children that were ‘different than’ and perhaps ‘less permanent than’ biological children.”
Dr Todd Grande, a professor in a counselling programme at Wilmington University in Delaware, weighed in on the controversy on his YouTube channel.
“Even though they were struggling with raising Huxley, that didn’t prevent Myka from promoting herself as an advocate for international adoption. This helped increase her exposure. I wonder why she didn’t simply represent herself as someone who was struggling. That would’ve been much more honest.
“It’s like they may have been treating him like a puppy. He grew up a little and he was no longer cute or useful.”
‘Multiple scary things happened inside the home’