I’M AFRAID HE’LL START DRINKING

My husband was a heavy drinker, finishing half a bottle or more of brandy or whisky at a time. He’d come home from work, sit in his chair and drink until late at night and then fall into bed.

During lockdown his alcohol stash quickly ran low and he was forced to limit himself to two drinks a night. I felt like I had my husband back.

He was interested in our family and the house and even enjoyed movies and games with us. It’s as if the children and I got to know a new man and I even feel like I fell in love with him again.

But now that he can buy alcohol again, I’m afraid he’ll go back to just drinking and doing nothing else. What can I do to stop that from happening? Maria, email

Unfortunately there isn’t really anything you can do to prevent it as it’s up to your husband to decide if he wants to enjoy his family and be more involved, as he was during lockdown, or if he simply wants to exist with alcohol as his mistress.

What you can do is make him aware of how much you enjoyed life with him when he wasn’t drinking so much. Perhaps you and the children should write him a letter to tell him how you feel. Tell him that you fell in love with the man you got to know during lockdown, and how proud you and the kids are of him for managing to drink less and show up more as a husband and father.

Tell him how much you enjoyed the time you spent together during lockdown and that you’re looking forward to more fun times together as a family.

This will give him some idea of how you and the kids perceived him and make him aware of what you need from him and that it’s up to him to decide between you and the kids on one side and alcohol on the other. Avoid nagging him about not drinking as this may have the opposite effect to what you’re striving for.