SHE’D LAUGH AT ME BEHIND MY BACK
I thought I’d married the love of my life four years ago. I have my own company and as I’m fairly wealthy I could give my wife everything her heart desired. She didn’t need to work and accompanied me on many business trips overseas. We regularly had lavish holidays and weekends away.
What I didn’t know was that she’s a sex addict who was lying to me and secretly living a life of debauchery. When I was at work she spent her time sleeping around and going to swingers parties, spending my money to make herself more attractive to men and laughing at me behind my back. To make matters worse, most of my employees knew the truth before I did.
When a good friend of mine eventually plucked up the courage to tell me to open my eyes, I was so angry I wanted to kill him. But he was right.
How will I ever trust another woman again? If I meet a woman I like, how do I make sure it’s not just my money she’s after? Gary, email
It’s an unfortunate fact that there are narcissistic, selfish people in the world, but it’s also true that most people are good and kind. You have been hurt by one of the former and are therefore feeling sensitive to being exploited. The best way forward is simply to tread carefully.
When you’re dating someone or meet someone you think you might like, don’t put all your cards on the table. You don’t need to reveal immediately that you’re financially well-off. Simply be wary about revealing too much – you can do this without coming across as cagey.
It would also be good to get yourself into activities you’re interested in, such as a sport or hiking, as this is a great way to get to know people with similar interests. It’ll also give you time to really get to know someone without the pressure that comes with being on a date.
Also, resist the urge to want to “help” someone you’re dating or rescue them from a bad life situation. That’s not a good way for a relationship to start. You need to find someone who’s independent and can look after herself financially. You’re a dynamic person and need a woman who is like that too to stand beside you and appreciate you.