Jonah Hill: I finally accept myself as I am
He’s struggled with his body image all his life – now Jonah Hill has finally learnt to accept himself
IT’S a sight that would once have made him cringe: he’s just left the surf, pulled his wetsuit down to his waist and is towelling himself off. Jonah Hill has made a living out of playing the pudgy, hysterical comic nerd of Superbad and the Jump Street movies, a rotten high-flyer in Wolf of Wall Street and a sex-obsessed, badly dressed bloke in Knocked Up. He has more than a dozen movie credits to his name and an Oscar nomination for the serious drama Moneyball.
But there’s one thing he knows he’ll never do – and that’s be mistaken for Chris Hemsworth or Hugh Jackman or any of those perfectly chiselled Hollywood hotties who regularly kick back in their bathing costumes.
Which is why, soon after pictures of him emerged surfing and drying himself in Malibu, California – not far from his multi-million-dollar home – he decided to weigh in.
He’s battled with body-image issues throughout his life, he said on Instagram alongside a screenshot of a web story about himself on the beach.
“I don’t think I ever took my shirt off in a pool until I was in my mid-30s, even in front of family and friends,” he said. “Probably would’ve happened sooner if my childhood insecurities weren’t exacerbated by years of public mockery about my body.”
But pictures like this don’t faze him anymore, he added. “I’m 37 and finally love and accept myself.”
His post, he added, was not a “good for me” post; nor was it a “feel bad for me” post. “It’s for the kids who don’t take their shirt off at the pool. Have fun. You’re wonderful and awesome and perfect. All my love.”
Jonah has been overweight since childhood and he’s never been allowed to forget it, he says. “I spent most of my young adult life listening to people say that I was fat and gross and unattractive,” he said recently on the Ellen DeGeneres Show.
“And it’s only in the past few years that I’ve started to understand how much that hurt and got into my head.”
GIVEN his body issues, no one was more surprised than Jonah that he became a movie star. “My dream was always to be a filmmaker,” he once told
The Guardian. “I wanted to be behind the cameras, not in front of them.”
He grew up in Los Angeles with parents Richard and Sharon Feldstein, younger sister Beanie and older brother Jordan.
The family was always in Hollywood’s orbit – his mom was a costume designer and his dad was Guns N’ Roses’ accountant. Jordan was Maroon 5’s manager; he passed away tragically in 2017 of a pulmonary embolism at the age of 40. Beanie (27) is an actress too, starring in such movies as Lady Bird and Booksmart.
Growing up, Jonah was a TV and movie addict. Enthralled by The Simpsons after learning people made a living from drawing the cartoon, writing scripts and voicing the characters, he wrote his own Simpsons scripts between the ages of eight and 16.
He fell into acting by chance, he says. Jonah attended a private school with Dustin Hoffman’s son, Jake, and one day the famous actor watched him make prank calls pretending to be Tobey Maguire’s assistant. Jonah was so good he convinced a hotel to install a tank for the Spider-Man star’s fictional pet seal and Dustin, impressed, invited him to audition for a small role in I Heart Huckabees.
More parts and bigger roles followed and Jonah both starred and wrote the scripts for the Jump Street films and the movie Sausage Party. However, part of him still felt like an outsider.
Jonah famously slimmed down and toned up a few years ago and the tabloids went wild over the trim “new” star. But the “fat kid” in him remained.
“I really believe everyone has a snapshot of themselves from a time when they were young that they’re ashamed of,” he wrote in the magazine Inner Children, which he published to coincide with his directorial debut, Mid90s.
“For me, it’s that 14-year-old overweight and unattractive kid who felt ugly to the world, who listened to hip-hop and who wanted so badly to be accepted by this community of skaters.”
Exploring his issues in the magazine while working on Mid90s – a coming of age movie about a boy from a troubled home – helped him to work through his emotions.
“It took a long time, honestly until right now, for me to speak to the world in a way that actually represents who I am as opposed to me trying to be something that I’m not.”
THE actor has also become an unlikely fashion icon, thanks to his unusual streetwear style – even if some of it, he’s admitted, was pure silliness, like the time he tucked a jersey into his formal trousers paired with dress shoes.
He officially added another hyphen to his credits – designer – last year when he collaborated with Adidas for the Adidas x Jonah Hill Samba range of trainers.
“I always had an interest in personal style and fashion, but I was always a bigger guy,” he told GQ magazine, who had named him their Man of the Year in 2018.
“It’s really hard when you’re overweight to dress a certain way, because clothes aren’t made for people who are overweight to have style. So I think it surprises people.”
His perspective came when it dawned on him that, regardless of his size, he could define his own style.
“There was a big turning point of realising: okay, be yourself. You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be. And if you’re really interested in fashion then you should be. Don’t push that away.”
Self-care is increasingly becoming part of Jonah’s work, as well as his life. His next movie, which he’s directing, is a documentary for Netflix about therapy.
“It’s about my brilliant therapist, Dr Phil Stutz, and therapy in general,” says Jonah, who’s single after splitting from fiancée Gianna Santos last year.
“The idea is to make a film that frames therapy and Phil’s tools for dealing with life in a way that isn’t corny or cheesy. Everything I saw growing up about therapy I rolled my eyes at.
“If you can’t afford therapy or there’s stigma in your family, the idea is that you can privately use these tools based on the feelings you’re having. And use them in the privacy of your own home on Netflix.
“Sending you all lots of love. We all need it.”