Bittersweet: new dad Jesse Clegg still grieving for his dad
Jesse Clegg introduces his daughter, Mylah, and reflects on how he’s coming to terms with the loss of his famous dad
THE past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions – sheer joy at welcoming a brand-new life and aching sadness that the father he loved so much will never meet his tiny granddaughter. But her grandad’s influence will always be part of her life, musician Jesse
Clegg says. “My father was an amazing role model for me and now he’s an amazing role model to me as a father as well,” he says.
“He always created a special place in his life for his family. He was always busy and had a lot going on, but he always made time for his family and gave us a sense that we were his No 1 priority.”
The man he’s talking about needs no introduction – it’s Johnny Clegg, one of South Africa’s best-loved musicians. In July it’ll be two years since Johnny lost his battle with pancreatic cancer aged 66 and Jesse still finds it hard to come to terms with the fact he’ll never see him again.
“We had a real bond. He was my father, but he was also a friend and I’m really grateful we had that. I want the same for my daughter and me.”
Baby Mylah Thandolwethu Clegg is Jesse and partner Dani Cooperman’s first child and she’s just two weeks old when YOU catches up with her dad. Jesse says his dad taught him and his brother, filmmaker Jaron (25), to be independent and self-confident – traits he hopes to pass on to his little girl.
Coming to terms with his father’s passing has been hard, Jesse (32) says. “It’s the first time in my life I’m dealing with real, direct grief – the first time I’ve lost a close family member.
“I’ve never gone this long without seeing my dad, without having a conversation with him and it feels bizarre. I really miss him. It’s been really tough.”
JESSE spent the first six years of his life on tour buses and backstage at concerts, travelling with his always-on-the-go dad and mom Jenny. He’d pretend to play the guitar and nurtured a love of music that would become his career too.
Jesse, who has degrees in law and literature from Wits University, didn’t really know what he wanted to do with his life until he started playing guitar in earnest and writing music.
“Then I realised this was something I couldn’t live without – this was how I made sense of my world.”
His first album, When I Wake Up, was launched to widespread acclaim in 2008 and three more albums followed, along with a tour and festival performances in the US and UK.
Jesse says he went into the business with his eyes wide open.
“I saw how challenging the industry could be. My dad was always travelling so it was hard sometimes to be a family on the road. I saw the amount of discipline it takes to be a musician.”
Like many people in showbiz, Jesse’s career ground to a halt in 2020 as studios shut down and live performances were cancelled. In retrospect it was a blessing for him, he says.
“Live performances are a huge part of the music industry financially and it’s a source of inspiration. So it’s been quite strange, but it’s given me more time to be at home with my family.”
Jesse had been recording music in Los Angeles before the lockdown travel ban kicked in last year.
“I was meant to be there for a few months and I didn’t think the pandemic would be real until my mom told me I need to come back home – so I jumped on the next plane,” he recalls.
He and Dani live near Jenny in Joburg and Jaron lives in the city too, which allowed the family to spend time together during lockdown.
“It was really the first time in a long time that we’d spent so much time together. It was like being on holiday when I was a kid, spending three weeks with the family. This was like months and months.”
Lockdown also helped the family mourn for Johnny. “It was healthy for us to be together because we were all grieving,” Jesse says. “We’re still grieving.”
WEDDING bells – and more kids – are definitely in his and Dani’s future, Jesse says. The couple, who’ve been together for 10 years, “had an immediate connection and it’s been amazing”.
Dani, who works remotely for a Canadian finance company, is Jesse’s biggest supporter.
“I’m lucky to be with someone who loves music and loves the career path I’ve chosen,” he says. “She’s supportive, calm and strong. She’s the yin to my yang.”
They plan to tie the knot once the pandemic has passed sufficiently for them to hold a “proper” wedding celebration with family and friends. “We’re going to wait it out,” Jesse says. They didn’t want to wait to become parents though. “I’ve always wanted to have kids and so did Dani so we’d been trying without forcing the issue. And it happened when it was meant to happen.
“I’m really learning [about parenting]. I just want to be supportive to Dani and I want to learn as much as I can. I’ve been talking to my friends who have kids and I’m trying to take it all in.”
Their daughter’s Zulu middle name, Thandolwethu, means “our love” and is a tradition Johnny – aka The White Zulu – introduced to the Clegg clan.
“I have a Zulu middle name, Umpiyezwe, meaning ‘fighter’, and my brother’s Zulu middle name is Busani, which means ‘to reign’.
“Dad’s friends, who are like family to us, contributed to naming us, so our girl was taken to the family and we had a meeting and decided this would be her middle name.”
As a tribute to Johnny, the Clegg family hosted a virtual concert celebrating his legacy last year, and for the first time Jesse performed his dad’s music on his own.
“I rarely perform my dad’s songs. It’s out of respect because his music stands on its own and I’d never want to impose my identity on it.
“I’m also my own artist, walking my own path, and I want to find my own journey and I think my dad would want that for me as well.”
Jesse’s latest single, Speed of Light, dropped in February and the singer has outdoor shows planned for April in the Eastern and Western Cape. He’s also recording his new album with his team in LA.
“I’m mixing and mastering the album over Zoom, which has been quite weird, but it’s coming along. There’ll be more music soon,” he assures us.
Also on the cards is a live concert celebrating his dad.
“That would be the most fitting tribute for my dad,” he says. “He’d look down and smile.”
‘HE WAS MY FATHER, BUT ALSO A FRIEND. I WANT THE SAME FOR MY DAUGHTER’