Cancer patient’s joyful wedding
Nicholas wasn’t going to let his serious illness stand in the way of his special day
HIS eyes flooded with tears as he watched his beautiful bride walking down the aisle towards him. Nicholas Venter had never felt such love for her as he did in that moment – despite the overwhelming odds that were stacked against him, there she was willing to commit herself to him and become his wife.
Although Laetitia van den Heever looked the picture of happiness, everyone present was aware of the heartache probably awaiting her – of the devastating blow that life had dealt her groom.
Just a few months earlier, Nicholas (33) from Fontainebleau in Johannesburg had received the dreadful news. After discovering a lump in his back he underwent tests which revealed that he had spindle cell neoplasm cancer, a particularly aggressive form of cancer which had spread. Basically it was everywhere – his spine, lungs, liver, stomach, muscles and brain.
He was told there was nothing that could be done and that at best he had two weeks to live. His doctor advised him to go home and make sure his will and other matters were in order. “When I received my diagnosis, it was like I was staring death right in the eyes,” he recalls.
But Nicholas wasn’t willing to just throw in the towel.
“In that moment, I realised that everything you do, you should do positively because life can be cut short in a split second,” he tells us.
He had too much to live for – just a few months earlier he’d popped the question and to his delight Laetitia (37) had said yes.
They’d been saving up for their dream wedding and were looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together.
With Laetitia’s encouragement, Nicholas decided to get a second opinion and what they were told was music to their ears.
“The oncologist said that because Nicholas is so young, he could fight this with chemo and radiation treatment,” Laetitia tells us.
But it was going to require a big sacrifice. As Nicholas’ medical aid doesn’t cover all of his medical bills, the couple had to dip into their savings to help pay for his treatment, which meant their wedding had to be put on hold.
Knowing how much the wedding meant to them, a family friend contacted a local radio station, appealing for help. Staff at Jacaranda FM were so moved by
the plea that they offered to sponsor the wedding.
But there was just one catch: with Nicholas due to undergo more treatment, the wedding had to take place as soon as possible – by the end of the week, to be exact.
“Four days before our wedding, they phoned to say that we’re getting married that Saturday,” Laetitia says.
It was all happening so fast but because the radio station was taking care of arranging the couple’s wedding attire, rings, flowers, décor and food, Nicholas and Laetitia could just relax and enjoy.
On 30 March, surrounded by 30 of their closest friends and family, they tied the knot in an intimate garden ceremony. “Everything was perfect,” Nicholas says. Although he knew the road ahead for them wasn’t going to be easy, he was determined their wedding would be the happiest day of Laetitia’s life.
So, fighting the pain, he surprised everyone by standing up straight to greet his bride as she walked down the aisle which was strewn with rose petals.
“Nicholas was very handsome,” Laetitia tells us. “He had tears when he saw me in my dress.”
NOW, a few months after their special day, Nicholas says he’s even more in love with his beautiful bride than ever before. “She’s so awesome, I love her more and more every day. She’s a wonderful wife. She looks after me while I’m sick now. How many wives would do that?”
His sessions of radiotherapy haven’t eradicated the tumours as he’d hoped.
Yet even though he’s bedridden and hooked up to an oxygen machine, he hasn’t given up. He wants to live for Laetitia.
The couple met three years ago after she reached out to him on social media.
“A mutual friend suggested that she should say hello to me and from there onwards we chatted,” Nicholas recalls.
After going on a few dates, he knew he’d found his soulmate and in October last year he bowled her over with a romantic marriage proposal.
“He made a big sign with LED lights out of a wooden frame that said, ‘Will you marry me?’ Laetitia recalls.
Hidden within the sign was a little box and when she saw the sparkly ring inside, her answer was an unreserved yes.
Their plans were derailed, however, when Nicholas started complaining about an intense pain in his legs and lower back.
His local GP told him it was just muscle spasms – nothing to be worried about – and prescribed him pain medication.
However, after a few weeks of the pain intensifying, his doctor sent him for an X-ray.
“It showed that the disc in his back is narrowing, so we went to a back specialist,” Laetitia says.
After performing an MRI and CT scan, doctors discovered a growth on Nicholas’ back and in January he was diagnosed with advanced soft-tissue sarcoma.
“The results came back [and they had] picked up all the cancer growths in his body and from then on it went downhill,” Laetitia says.
His doctor told him his condition was terminal and that there was nothing that could be done for him.
But on the advice of another oncologist, Nicholas embarked on a course of radiotherapy, which he completed last month. He is also having chemotherapy. Even though this should be the happiest time of their lives, the pair say they can’t escape the reality that might await them.
“My strength isn’t there anymore. I’m losing a lot of weight. I can’t get out of my bed. People have to move me around, so it’s difficult,” Nicholas says. “I’m tired and exhausted and my body is sore.”
While his health continues to deteriorate, the responsibility of paying his medical bills now rests with Laetitia, who is employed as an admin clerk.
“I’m working like crazy, but I also have a great support system,” she says.
“My mom looks after Nicholas while I’m at work and his brother comes to our home whenever we need to move him around the house.”
She misses the carefree days of life before his grim diagnosis.
“I loved cuddling and watching movies. We loved sitting and just talking about random stuff until very late. Now Nicholas can’t do that, so I let him sleep but I miss it.”
Despite the doctors’ gloomy predictions, deep down she still hopes that Nicholas will defy the odds.
“I see ourselves celebrating our first wedding anniversary and opening that special wine that was gifted to us at our wedding,” Laetitia says.
“We’re also hoping to give our family those two daughters they’ve been begging us for.”
And it’s what Nicholas wants too – more than anything.
“I’m striving to get better,” he says. “It’s a struggle but I’m trying to fight every day to get better.”
‘I LOVE HER MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY’