IN YOUR 50s

Yvette* (52) “I think at my age it’s acceptable to have sex once or twice a month. I’m comfortable with my partner – we’ve been married a long time – and I don’t believe I’ll have the same self-confidence with someone else.

“I’m older now and my body looks different to when I was young. I still see myself as a sensual woman and I like being sexy and dressing nicely, so sometimes, if it doesn’t lead anywhere, it can be hard for me.

“My sex life has decreased in the past five years and there are several reasons for this. My husband had to take an antidepressant at one stage and he’s diabetic, which affects his libido.

“I know the need for sex decreases as you age but when sex does happen, I enjoy it because my husband cherishes me. That’s what I sometimes miss when it’s been a while since we’ve had sex.”

■ A common challenge The physical changes associated with ageing can be difficult to deal with, says Dr Elmari Mulder Craig, a sexologist from Pretoria. Menopause and andropause also start having an impact at this age.

TIP Don’t just accept that a lack of libido is normal in this age group, Craig says.

If you or your partner is struggling with menopause or andropause, seek medical help.

Staying fit and keeping your muscles strong also improve stamina and sex drive.

By this age couples are in a position to get to know each other all over again.

“Couples have to make an effort to get to know each other again,” Craig says. “There’s probably old conflict that was never addressed.”

It may help to see a couples’ therapist to help you find creative ways to reconnect with each other.