SHE DOESN’T TURN ME ON ANYMORE

Q Three years ago, I found out my wife was having an affair. This was devastating to me, as I trusted her with my whole heart and never expected it.

I even defended her when my best friend voiced his suspicions to me, and I ended my friendship with him because of it.

But then I had to believe it when I caught my wife and her lover in my house when they thought I was away on a business trip.

After a lot of heartache, and a separation, we decided to try again. The problem now, however, is that I seem to have lost my attraction for my wife.

No matter what she tries, I don’t get turned on and this is now damaging our marriage. What can I do to fix this? Ronald, email

A An inhibition of sexual desire can be caused by subconscious anger and the need to punish. It may be that you still have a lot of underlying resentment or even rage towards your wife and are trying to punish her in some way. This is not a conscious feeling, but rather a subconscious one.

The only way to try to resolve this is to consult a psychologist, ideally one who has training in hypnotherapy. This would be a good approach to use because it’s your subconscious mind that is causing the problem, and hypnotherapy is a way to access the subconscious mind.

Remember, however, that the subconscious mind is a mind of its own, so to speak, and may not change – no matter how much you want to fix your marriage.

All you can do is listen to it and address the emotions that come up.

‘BEAUTY IS ABOUT BEING COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN. IT’S ABOUT KNOWING AND ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE’

– ELLEN DEGENERES