WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT MY SAD LIFE?

I am finding life very difficult. During my childhood I was told that I am special and that I will reach heights that were unheard of because I’m very clever. Everybody had these expectations of me becoming someone special.

At school I was lazy and didn’t study, with the result that I passed by the seat of my pants.

I felt I rather wanted to enjoy life than to spend my time sitting at a desk for hours and studying. Because I was clever, it wasn’t necessary for me to exert myself and I simply sailed along.

I managed to get into university, but for the first time in my life I really had to study to get results and this didn’t suit me. So I terminated my studies and started doing mundane work just to earn a salary.

I’m 30 now and looking back I can’t believe how I’ve wasted my life. I could have had any career I wanted and with it the financial means to have a good life and also the respect of colleagues. Instead I earn a pittance and my wife and I struggle to make ends meet – to the extent that we can’t even afford to have children.

I now realise my folly but it’s too late. I’m also frustrated with my work because I can do so much more with the intellectual ability I have. What do I do with this sad life now? Brian, email

You actually still have most of your life in front of you, so it’s a good thing that you’ve now realised your folly in not using your abilities and not becoming the person that you were meant to be. You are still young and should make the most of the time you have and the insights you’ve gained.

Forget about the past and the things you regret. You were young and ignorant – acknowledge that, forgive yourself and focus on the present. Start by doing some courses that will enhance your earning capacity and, once you’re earning more, you can study further. Due to the pandemic many courses at university that were only possible to study full-time are now available part-time as well. You will have to work and study part-time to build the career you’re dreaming of.

First, you will need to think about the sort of work you want to do as it’s important to love the work you do. It might benefit you to consult a counselling psychologist who can help you to decide on the way forward.