I’M HAUNTED BY HIS SUICIDE
Q I recently found my boyfriend of two years in his home – he’d tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head. He was still alive when I found him and I tried to keep him alive while emergency services were called but on arrival the paramedics declared him dead.
At that stage I was full of blood and on the verge of collapsing. The worst of it all is I don’t know why he wanted to commit suicide. He didn’t seem depressed and we were planning a holiday overseas.
I’ve been getting flashbacks of when I found him, lying on the carpet bleeding, and I wake up at night in terror.
I can’t sleep well. I feel as if my life has come to an end because I really saw my boyfriend as the man I wanted to marry. I don’t know how to make sense of what happened. What can I do to get out of this state? Margaret, email
A How devastating for you to experience something like this. It must have been incredibly traumatic and, unsurprisingly, it seems you are now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The flashbacks, the nightmares, having trouble sleeping and your sense of a shortened future are all symptoms of PTSD.
You need to consult with a clinical psychologist who can help you deal with the trauma you went through.
It may be beneficial to see a psychologist who is trained in hypnotherapy so that he or she can help you to reframe this horrific event in your mind, help you to get a sense of perspective and to say goodbye to your boyfriend as well as the dream you had of a future together.
Bereavement guidance can also be helpful. If you don’t address the symptoms you’re experiencing now, it could become worse with time as the thoughts become embedded in your psyche.
Sometimes people can hide their depression very well – it is referred to as masked depression. This makes it very difficult for loved ones to tell that there’s something wrong.