FED UP WITH MY UNGRATEFUL WIFE

My wife and I have been married for four years and all she has been doing during this time is moan, find fault with me and criticise everything I do. She’s not grateful for anything I do for her and nothing is ever good enough.

She doesn’t work and refuses to find a job as she tells me she married me to be “looked after”. Even though things are getting really expensive and it’s difficult to make ends meet, she expects me to perform miracles and pull a rabbit out of a hat whenever she needs money.

She also doesn’t spend money wisely but instead uses it for things that aren’t necessities, such as beauty products. What can I do about this situation? Barry, email

Why must you go out of your way to find money that she can simply waste on things that aren’t important? Your wife doesn’t seem to understand that the time when women simply got married to have children and be looked after by their husbands is no more. This isn’t only because of a social and cultural shift but because women are more independent, something which has been hardwon.

Couples nowadays should be partners who both contribute financially to the household and share the responsibilities of keeping the home running. Besides, life has become expensive, which can make it difficult to get by on one income.

You need to sit down with your wife to have a serious talk and tell her that you’re no longer going to pander to her whims. Tell her you expect her to find a job so she can contribute to the household. You need to be clear about what you’re no longer willing to do – tell her you won’t continue to give her money to spend on insignificant things.

She isn’t going to be happy with what you’re now expecting of her, but you must stand firm and tell her that if things don’t change you’ll have to consider ending the marriage.

It’s not good for your emotional and mental health to be criticised and found fault with all the time. You deserve a partner who loves and supports you, and doesn’t see you simply as a meal ticket.