SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE

I read the article Why I Cheat on My Wife (YOU, 20 October) with much understanding and identifying with the husband’s situation. Yet with me, it’s a case of “the shoe was on the other foot”. It was my husband who didn’t want sex.

This left me feeling that my emotional tank was not being filled. I felt unwanted, as if he didn’t find me attractive anymore. I lacked affirmation – verbal and physical. Yes, I spoke to him about how I felt, but nothing changed.

I became like a puppy looking for attention yet what I found was suddenly noticing the attention I wasn’t getting at home versus noticing attention that had been coming my way all along.

My marriage vows were always extremely important to me, yet over time I yearned for attention, yearned to feel wanted, sexy and validated. I wanted and needed sex.

Sadly I did find sex with another man – and post-event wished that it was my husband loving me and not this other guy.

I realised, amongst many other things, that I could choose not to be in a sexless marriage. This wasn’t the first reason for divorcing him, it was just another non-negotiable for my life.

So please don’t judge another until you walk their journey. I once said that I would never stray, but that was before I experienced what I did. I’m now happy and having sex in a permanent relationship in my late fifties. DON’T JUDGE, EMAIL