I’M TIRED OF BEING THE GOOD GUY

Q I’ve started thinking it’s not a good thing to be good to a woman. I’ve had three serious relationships and have really gone out of my way to treat my girlfriends well, to respect them and to spoil them. I’ve treated them in the way my mother taught me women like to be treated. All this to no avail.

My first girlfriend chose a guy who abused her over me; my second told me I was too predictable and “safe”; my third simply said she doesn’t deserve me – whatever that means – and broke up with me.

It seems women want to be treated badly and cheated on! What hope is there for me? Bret, email

A Your experiences have left you disillusioned but being a good guy will pay off in the end. Some women do prefer “bad guys” and it’s often because of their own emotional issues, but that is certainly not what all women want.

Women who are destructive within themselves have a penchant for bad guys and to be treated less kindly and respectfully. However, remember, being a good guy doesn’t mean you always put your partner first and never get your way.

Any good relationship is about give and take from both sides, so just as you respect, love and treat your girlfriend well she should do the same for you.

Take some time to think about what you expect from a relationship too. And is there a chance that maybe you are a little bit predictable and boring? Spice up your life a little – try new, exciting things which a new partner might also find enjoyable. It seems that during the pandemic some people became placid and boring without even realising it.