THIS IS FOR MY SON
Her son had always wanted to be a DJ. So after his death, his 62-year-old mother decided to honour him by living his dream
HER silver hair sways as she leans over the decks in the DJ booth, generating pulsating electronic beats as the crowd dance around her, arms pumping in the air. When her set comes to an end she breathes hard, taking in the applause from the audience.
Joy Steffens had partygoers eating out of the palm of her hand when she performed at the H20 Party, one of South Africa’s biggest dance music festivals.
The 62-year-old’s story of how she reached this point is nothing short of inspirational. Her son, Dylan, died six years ago after losing his battle with liver cancer. Her 22-year-old boy loved House music and after his death she took it upon herself to live his dream of becoming a DJ.
And having shared the booth with DJ Vanco; 5FM DJ Smash Afrika; and Black Coffee’s son, Esona, Joy is well on her way to making Dylan’s dream a reality. “I’ve done mixes on most of the radio stations – it absolutely feeds my soul,” Joy says.
“I’ve also DJed at News Cafe in Boksburg and the owner of the Jozi Gin franchise loves my vibe and my music and he lets me practise there every Sunday before the main line-up of DJs in Bryanston.
“Kyle Cassim from 5FM also does a Sunday session there. He’s very special to me and puts me on the line-up to open at 3pm.”
Joy is the first to admit she doesn’t fit the profile of a typical disc jockey. Yet in her quest to make her son’s dreams come true, she discovered a talent for mixing she didn’t know she had.
“I always feel Dylan’s presence when I DJ. I think it’s not just my skill but my choice of tracks – and, of course, my grey hair gives me that niche above the other DJs.”
JOY was close to her only son, but their bond became stronger when he rallied around her after she divorced her husband several years ago. “Dylan said he wanted to
come and stay with me in my granny flat,” she says.
“It’s so unreal that this kind of prepared me for what was about to happen because it was at this point that we discovered he had cancer.”
At first, Dylan was incorrectly diagnosed as having a pulled muscle but when the pain wouldn’t go away, Joy realised something was horribly wrong.
“We took him to a specialist who confirmed he had a tumour on his liver – it was the shock of my life.”
Joy was then working as an assistant to a financial advisor in the Eastern Cape and couldn’t afford her son’s medical treatment. “My friends helped me and no time was wasted flying Dylan to Groote Schuur Hospital in Cape Town where he was treated by a liver specialist who operated on him. The surgery was a success and the tumour was removed, but unfortunately the cancer had spread.”
In 2015 Joy and Dylan moved to Johannesburg to live with her new partner. Dylan’s cancer got very bad and a few months later he was in such poor shape she needed to quit her job to take care of him full-time. But the sacrifice was worth it, she says.
“He passed away next to me. I had the most amazing relationship with my son – it’s hard to explain the intensity of our relationship and how life is such an unexpected journey.”
Two years after Dylan’s passing, she decided to do something to honour him and it seemed only natural she remember him in music. She started making beats with rekordbox, a professional DJ software program, and her son’s MacBook. And when the pandemic struck in 2020, Joy started taking it seriously.
SHE signed up for classes at the DJ & Music Production Institute in Midrand where she learnt how to mix music. Joy, who goes by the name Mammabearsteff on social media, then started playing small gigs at festivals and made a name for herself.
She’s taking baby steps, says Joy, who also has daughter, Carey (34).
“I’m practising hard to be among greatness. Headlining a major event is on my bucket list. I’d love to be able to get on a plane at 62 and go and DJ somewhere for a big crowd.”
Elster Pieterse, who taught Joy the ropes at the DJ & Music Production Institute, says she’s a natural. “She knew exactly what she wanted to do – and that was to learn how to DJ and be comfortable playing in front of the crowd,” he tells YOU. “She had her own music and is 5FM’s number 1 fan. She follows local and international DJs and talks to them often, so she’s aware of all the good House music out there.” “Aunty Joy visits us frequently,” Elster says. “She still comes for refresher lessons and often gets involved with judging our new graduate DJs and producers. She’s an absolute joy to have around and is more a friend than a student.” By day Joy works as an admin assistant at a real-estate firm. She believes her DJ career is taking off because she can relate to people from all walks of life. “It’s crazy how millennials and students will come and ask me who I am and tell me they love my set. “They ask to take pictures with me and follow me on Instagram. Some even come up to me and say, ‘I’ve just heard about your son, can I give you a hug?’” It’s not just her moving story that makes her a hit with fans but also her bubbly personality. “I always laugh when I tell people I don’t really like to drink, and I’ve never smoked any strange substances. “They love me for that and can understand why I dance with my water bottle for six hours.” Joy wants to keep her son’s memory alive by continuing to grow as a DJ. “I’m going to concentrate on earning some money so I can pay for a music-production course and do my own Afro-House track.” She wishes she could see her beloved son one last time and hold him close. “I’d tell him, ‘Boykie, I absolutely miss and love you and I know you are with me all the time when I push play. Thank you for letting me continue your dream in my life’. “‘ When I join you one day, we can dance together’.”