WHY ARE MEN SO AFRAID?

Q I’ve been divorced for three years now and am very lonely.

I want someone to love and love me back, but as soon as men hear I have two small children, they’re no longer interested.

It’s almost as if they think I’m looking for a meal ticket when in fact I have a good job and earn good money.

I don’t need a man to support me or my children. What I’m looking for is love and affection, not a meal ticket.

How can I make men understand this so that they don’t run away the moment they hear I have two kids? Marianne, email

A If you’re a single guy, dating a woman with two children can be very daunting. There’s the prospect of an instant family, and a single guy who doesn’t have or perhaps doesn’t want children of his own may baulk at that.

Then there’s also the possibility of an interfering ex-husband. So you have to acknowledge that it’s a complex situation and not without a few hurdles, particularly for a single man without any kids. A divorced man who has children of his own may be less scared of such a situation.

It’s going to depend very much on the person you meet, but from your side you should keep being honest about your situation and just let the person get to know you and your kids.

Be open about the dynamics between you and the father of your children as well – whether there’s any animosity between you or if you’re co-parenting without any hiccups.

Time has a way of resolving problems and making one feel less concerned about situations we would’ve resisted if pushed into it.