calm the post-holiday chaos

Fuss-free ways to get back to normal after the silly season

If there’s one thing experts agree on it’s that babies and toddlers need routine. In an ideal world that routine would be followed with military precision at all times. But the silly season, with its endless braais, family, friends, visitors, long days and late nights, is anything but ideal for parents trying to stick to a routine and enjoy their holiday. There’s bound to be disruption, whether you go away or stay at home.

The good news is you can ease up a bit and still return to your child’s normal daily pattern with very little trouble at the end of the silly season. The bad news? You can’t throw out the routine completely. Well, not unless you want to set up a routine – including sleep training – from square one after what will probably be a stressful holiday with a grumpy, overtired baby? Thought not. So we asked the experts how you can make sure your baby or toddler snaps back into their usual groove after the festive season with as little fuss as possible. The answer was unanimous: the best way to ensure a smooth return to routine is to not let the holiday routine be drastically different. And that requires planning and preparation, from before the holidays and right up to your return.

1 BEFORE YOU GO

PREP THEM FOR CHANGE If you’re going away – even if it’s only for a weekend – try to keep the sleeping arrangements the same as at home, says Petro Thamm, who owns the Good Night Sleep Consultancy. “If the baby or child has their own room at home, try arrange the same for when you travel,” says Petro, although she acknowledges that this is not always possible.

In that case, you should start preparing your child for the new sleeping space or sleeping arrangement before you leave home, advises Meg Faure, occupational therapist and co-author of the Sense series of books. “If you’re going to use a camp cot, then for three nights before you leave get your baby used to sleeping in it. And remember to put his regular sleep aids (taglets or dummies) in the new sleep environment too, so that the transition isn’t too strange or sudden.”

2 WHILE YOU’RE ON HOLIDAY

DON’T MESS WITH SLEEP! While it may seem like a lot of hard work and be quite restrictive to stick to nap and bedtimes while out and about or on the road, Meg says this is one part of a baby or toddler’s routine that is simply not worth rocking the boat for. “Babies and toddlers need sleep to prevent overstimulation. If they don’t get it, they go into meltdown and that doesn’t make anyone’s life easy or pleasant. So while it’s nice to be a little laissez-faire and go with the flow while on holiday, sleep times should be kept consistent. If you can’t make it back to your base for a nap, which is more difficult when you have a small baby napping frequently, you need to make sure he has at least one long midday nap,” she advises.

3 DON’T LET THEM GET HUNGRY

Sticking to sit down

go back to basics, like watching sleep signals and establishing the right time for sleep, then fill in the rest of the routine from there

meal times is just about impossible during busy holidays, but it’s important to make sure babies and toddlers get regular food in order to regulate their sugar levels. “Hungry children become ratty and irritable. On top of all the extra stimulation it is a disaster and escalates into chaos quickly,” warns Rhonel Scheepers of Sleep Training Consultants, who has been helping moms get babies into a routine for 25 years.

Avoiding a sugar level crash requires planning ahead, notes Petro. “Have snacks ready for when you are out and about and make sure to feed your child proteins every three hours to keep sugar levels stable.”

4 KEEP THE TRIGGER AND COMFORTS CONSISTENT

You can be on a bumpy road trip through Siberia and still stick (more or less) to a routine, maintains Rhonel. That’s because it isn’t necessarily about being in a certain place at a certain time, it’s about “a predictable flow of events”, she explains. “I try build what I call triggers – or associations – into a routine so that it can be followed anywhere. For example, brushing teeth is a trigger that leads up to bedtime, as is reading a story. These things can still be done while on the road; you just need to be a bit creative depending on your environment, and very consistent.”

Meg agrees and says it’s equally important to know what your child needs to get to sleep – whether it’s a dark room, particular music, a special blankie or a dummy – and ensure you have these things ready. “Recreating an environment he is used to and comfortable in is crucial,” she says. We might like to be spontaneous on holiday, but kids don’t like it nearly as much. They like familiarity as much as they like routine. And the less they’re yanked out of this familiarity, the easier it will be to transition back into “regular life” when you return home. “That’s why it’s a good ideal to take favourite toys and books and create a little homeaway-from-home space, like a play corner they can retreat to wherever you are,” says Meg.

For toddlers who can more easily communicate with you, Petro recommends making a routine chart especially for the holiday. “That will help your child understand that this new way of doing things is only for holiday time.” She adds that parents with children in daycare will do themselves a huge favour by trying to mirror the daycare’s daily routine during the holidays.

5 DON’T OVERDO IT

“Don’t overschedule or make too many plans,” emphasises Petro. “Even though you’re on holiday, too much stimulation and back to back activities aren’t advised as these cut into rest time – and that puts more pressure on the parents. Aim to make the days out of routine the odd ones out, and try and keep consistent days in between.”

6 AS YOU NEAR THE END OF HOLIDAYS

COME BACK EARLY If you’re out of town, try to come back two or three days before the holiday season is over to allow babies and children to settle back into their at home habits before you and dad have to go back to work, says Meg. “If you’ve kept some semblance of a routine throughout the holidays and stuck to sleep times, it shouldn’t

be too hard to get them back into it,” she adds.

7 START IMMEDIATELY

Don’t transition back into the normal routine slowly: get back into it 100 percent from day one. “This helps children understand that if and when the routine was disrupted while on holiday, back home the old rules apply,” explains Petro. For babies, patience and perseverance may be required, she says, while for older toddlers a new routine chart for the home helps nudge them back in line.

8 BE PREPARED FOR A BIT OF COACHING

“If you haven’t managed to keep all the triggers for your normal routine consistent, you may need to do a bit of coaching to get them back into the groove,” says Rhonel.

Meg says it should only take a few days of being consistent to get them back on track.

“I would advise that you go back to basics, like watching sleep signals and establishing the right time for sleep, then fill in the rest of the routine from there,” she says, adding that this applies to all disruptions to routines: “Whether it’s teething, a new sibling or a holiday, your baby should bounce back into routine quickly if you follow the process.”

9 BE FIRM

If your child is refusing to go back to his normal routine despite your best efforts, there’s only one way to deal with it according to both Meg and Petro: be firm. “The younger the baby is, the more flexible they are, so you are likely to struggle more with toddlers. But, at the same time, you can reason more with a tot,” says Meg.

No matter what age, being firm and not bending the rules (even slightly) is best, adds Petro. “But always prepare your child. Make the rules clear and then stick to them.”