daddy’s girl, mommy’s boy
“It’s quite common in families for a parent to get on better with one child than another, and this can lead to tensions as the other child may feel more discriminated against,” says Brian Blem, a counselling psychologist. It can also lead to coparenting disagreements, where, for instance, a father may disagree with the mother about the severity of a punishment for his “Daddy’s Girl” daughter.
In situations like these, all the steps to successful coparenting apply: communicate, stick together, be consistent, and get help if necessary. “I also recommend that each parent ensures quality one on one time especially with the child who might be feeling neglected or misunderstood,” adds Brian.
consequences: the child “chooses” the parent who gives them the most privileges or the least discipline, and as the parents move into separate camps, the child may feel responsible for the conflict, and as a result become confused, anxious and guilty. “If parents are clashing on parenting styles, they’re probably clashing on many other issues too,” suggests Brian. “I highly recommend that couples in this position seek couples counselling. Children need two key elements in their development: safety and and a sense of their own significance,” says Brian. “But this safety and sense of significance need to be forged between the couple if the children are to experience such elements in their own lives. So the best thing you can give your child is to love, consider and respect your partner.”
Coparents who don’t live together often need help more than those who do. “Divorced and separated parents have to be mature in negotiating and bargaining to reach a compromised style of parenting that will be in the best interests of their children,” says Mochabo.
Even though it gets hard, remember that your child is the most important thing. So if things aren’t quite right between you and your partner, never let your little one come off second best. YB
the right way of parenting is what works for the child and parent