YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY OUR EXPERTS

MY SIXTH-MONTH-OLD BABY WON’T GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT WITHOUT ME ROCKING HIM (AND I DO THE SAME WHEN HE WAKES UP THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT TOO). HOW CAN I TEACH HIM TO SOOTHE HIMSELF BACK TO SLEEP?

“Sleeping like a baby.” I don’t know who coined that term, but they should really be corrected. There is nothing sweeter than feeling the weight of your baby when they’re limp in your arms – I’m sure once you have him down you do your happy dance for getting him to sleep. That being said, I know how exhausting it can be when your little one relies so heavily on the swaying of your hips to transition into sweet slumber, and I’m sure he is not getting any lighter! Rocking him to sleep as part of your bedtime routine is one thing, but at 2am it is a whole other story.

The truth is, if you little one has doubled his birth weight and was not born prematurely he should be ready to sleep throughout the night (12 hours) without needing you for either a feed or interference (when you are certain that he is not ill, in pain or uncomfortable). My guess is that he has become so used to your rhythmic rocking that he has associated that with sleep and can’t go to sleep without it. Think about yourself – we all form associations with smells, textures and events. The same goes for sleep – if you have rocked your baby to sleep most times from birth this would have become the association that your baby has with sleep.

All of us – young and old – wake up repeatedly during the night as we transition through our sleep cycles (more or less every ninety minutes). Good sleep hygiene allows you to transition smoothly into the next cycle if there is nothing that alerts your subconscious. However, when a baby has associated rocking with sleep, the little one is unable to go back to sleep unaided. The last half an hour of your baby’s bedtime routine is critical, as it teaches him tools and processes to cope with transitioning cycles. The sleepy-time routine is the best place to start good sleep habits. Instead of rocking him to sleep, follow a predictable bedtime routine and then put your baby in his bed, drowsy but awake.

The surprising thing is that babies have the ability to fall asleep on their own, but we don’t often give them a chance to demonstrate this. You can’t “make” a baby self-soothe. It is something that happens naturally. Help him by being present by touching or patting him, and reassuring him with your voice. If you continue to be consistent, before you know it, he will change his association.