LETTERS
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THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD
Motherhood is the hardest job I’ve ever had. It’s an exhausting, round the clock, no breaks, no pay or days off job. You seldom get any gratitude or recognition for the things you do or the sacrifices you make.
No one ever told you that sleep becomes non-existent and that you would have to master the art of having a five-minute shower, or that spit-up on your clothing will now become your newest accessory.
When you first got married and played proud little wife with your immaculate home and pristine clothing you wouldn’t have thought that one day you would have a dinosaur family living under your bed or be stepping on toys.
You also did not know that you would be yelling in pain or that you would be fishing boogers out of your baby’s nose with intense concentration. Truth be told, there are times when I want to run away from all the madness and chaos but I would never trade my life for any other.
Nothing can compare to the warm feeling you get when you receive a spontaneous hug or kiss from an innocent child with a heart full of love and who expects nothing in return.
We sometimes forget that to that child we are his/her whole world. My kids are my greatest accomplishments and my most prized and valuable “possessions”. So although my life has changed considerably since they arrived, I’ve become more selfless and giving, more patient and tolerant and I have them to thank for that. AYESHA GORI JASSAT, PIETERMARITZBURG
JOY IN THE MIDST OF DESPAIR
On 12 February 2017 I arrived in Dallas, Texas, USA on a work-related trip. I left my mother, three brothers and my father behind in South Africa. I had just arrived and booked my room when I received a text from my youngest brother to inform me that my eldest brother had passed away earlier that day. I was devastated, frustrated and angry. I knew that my mother needed me and I rushed back home to South Africa.
My mother had a difficult time coming to terms with the death of her firstborn. I called my mother on 19 February (a day after the funeral) to check up on her. I told her that I would stop by the following day as I was exhausted after my brother’s funeral.
At 8pm the same day I got a call to inform me that my mother was in hospital. When I arrived at the hospital my mother had passed away. More devastating news, and yet another funeral to prepare for. This time around I did not question God. With the help of my partner we buried my mom.
A week later I started having severe pains in my back. It was an awkward heating pain. I suspected that it was stress related due to the trauma I suffered in such a short space of time.
At the GP’S office they ran a few tests. Not only did we discover that I had a bacterial infection in my kidneys, but we also learnt that I was pregnant! The news of me expecting our first child was met with some shock seeing that we had only been dating for six moths.
We have passed our second trimester. By the grace of God and the support of our family and friends, we are succeeding on this journey day by day.
I have decided not to question God and just to let His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. We are ecstatic about the arrival of our baby boy. We plan on naming him Uhuru, which means freedom. LEFATSHE ANNA MOAGI, JOHANNESBURG
MY TRUSTED COMPANION
I am a mother to an eight-year-old who recently foud out that I am expecting again. What a joy and a relief to know that my favourite baby magazine is still on the shelves.
I bought a copy last month and I was relieved to find that Your Baby magazine is still the trusted source of information that I came to know and love. I am stocking up!
The magazine will definitely be my trusted companion again as I journey through my second pregnancy.
ZIBA EATON, CAPE TOWN PERFECTLY NORMAL
Parenting has been rather insular for me. I recently had a short, but intense conversation with the local yoga teacher. She told me that she experienced a huge kind of “pulling inward” during her early parenting years and found it very difficult to socialise during this time, in part because her energy was so concentrated on her child. She also felt something had changed in her which was hard to put into words. She said she had felt “not very present”.
Just hearing her say that made me feel extrememly relieved as I had been feeling the exact same thing, but had not spoken of it to anyone. I felt my eyes get wide and my insides taking a deep breath. Part of me felt like I was malfunctioning in some way.
Right now I feel pulled in many directions but unable to connect. I go out to social events and feel a bit awkward. For the first time in my life, I feel strange not being able to put myself fully into conversations (as my child is trying to climb up the side of a building).
When I explained this to my yoga teacher she looked at me and said, “It’s perfectly normal. You are in a new and very intense phase of your life. There’s no need to resist it.”
I really needed to hear that! JOY SMYTHE, CAPE TOWN
MODERN DAY DAD
With the birth of my second son, Michael, I was reminded once again that the world is in need of more modern day dads.
A modern day dad is not afraid to venture into a mother’s world to offer comfort to a newborn or nourishment to a hungry child. He’s not afraid of a stinky nappy. He can offer shelter not only with bricks and mortar, but also with the security of his enfolded arms. He can rush his child to the emergency room and know that holding her while she is ill makes a difference. He can offer love as well as any mother and is proud to let the rest of the world see it. TRACEY DE KLERK, PRETORIA