Make 2019 your best year ever

Some small changes that focus on a positive lifestyle can have a big impact on your family life. Here are 19 top tips for a great year

TRUST YOUR INSTINCT

We all suffer from information overload. Magazines, books, the internet, social media, friends or your mom… No wonder you sometimes feel too paralysed to act. Make time this year to cut through the noise and access the little voice inside: the mother’s instinct. It knows and has helped the human race survive for centuries. If it says something is wrong at daycare, then investigate. If you are worried about a fever you can’t break, call the doctor – even on her cell! And if you feel your little one can fall asleep in your bed tonight – go for it.

PLAY OUTSIDE EVERY DAY

Experts agree: Children need active play for at least an hour every day. Think of it as their work. And guess what, if you join in and take it outside, the knock- on effect is even better. You will bond, you will all destress, you will get fitter and you will sleep better. Children also exercise their language and communication skills when they play, and increase problem-solving and creativity skills.

SLOW DOWN

Listen to what the old people say: childhood really is fleeting. Savour this special time by consciously slowing down and enjoying it. Whenever you find yourself rushing, take a deep breath or two to get back in the moment. Plan routines that build in some slow time and relook your child’s schedule to see where you can do less. (One less extramural will save you some money too.)

LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS

You pay penalties when you pay bills late. What a waste of money! Commit to paying on time this year. If you haven’t signed up for internet banking yet, do it – that way there really is no excuse to pay as soon as you can. Also, try to start saving or increase the amount you save every month. Relook your monthly budget and if you have debt, pay it off sooner. Debt is expensive. If your credit card tempts you too often, leave it at home.

EAT THE RAINBOW

Instead of worrying about different nutrients and trying to count carbs and proteins, just aim to eat as colourfully as you can. This can be fun for the children too! If you focus on eating as many colours as you can, you will naturally find yourself including many fruits and vegetables in your family’s diet.

BECOME A FAMILY OF BOOKWORMS

Buy books, join the library, go to secondhand bookstores as an outing and swop books with friends. Let your children see you reading books. Read to your child daily – it should be part of your evening routine. Also keep a book in the nappy bag or car, if you need to wait or queue, entertain your child by reading to him. The benefits of a love of books cannot be emphasised enough.

CUT THE SCREEN TIME

If there is one thing that is killing family life, it is the time we all spend on our screens. Have a good think and a talk about it, and make some strict rules.

For instance, you can declare that you have screen- free mornings: no television and no- one looks at their phone. You could also declare that all meals are free of screens: no phones allowed at the table and no meals eaten in front of the television. You could also decide on a screen curfew and switch the wifi off at a particular time each day. These rules don’t only apply to the children – many adults could also benefit from less time screening. Set a good example.

SWEAT EVERY DAY

Instead of having goals about how many jogs and gym visits you want to achieve, just decide that every family member needs to sweat every day. So if you don’t get to the gym, you can dance around the house or play in the garden, but you need to make it active! The children will love joining you, guaranteed. Do some star jumps or see who the family planking champion is.

WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

How many positive statements do your children hear you say every day, and how many negative? Pay attention to what you say about yourself or even others in their presence. Also pay attention to what you say to them directly. Work on cultivating a positive vibe in your family. You want to raise optimists who believe in themselves, right? Start with your language.

NEGOTIATE TIME FOR SELF-CARE

Taking care of your household and your brood is taxing work. Make sure you are never running on empty. Time spent on selfcare is not something you should feel guilty about. Make sure your children and partner understand this. So take time to lie in on the weekend, go on a date with your girlfriends, or a visit to the hairdresser, nail salon or spa. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll get ill and unhappy and the whole family will suffer.

LEARN TO SAY ‘NO’

You don’t have to be all things to all people all the time. Prioritise your family’s needs and your own. If you still have more to give, by all means say yes to those causes that you like. It takes some practice, but you can do it. Start today.

HUGS AND CUDDLES

Humans need touch. Hug, cuddle and romp around with your children, or massage their feet or play with their hair, but touch them lovingly as much as you can. They thrive on it! It is scientifically proven that hugs can relieve tension, pain and depression and build self- esteem too.

LEARN SOMETHING NEW

Adults often stop learning new things and this isn’t good for the brain. Let your children inspire you – every day they are learning new things. So pick something: a language, an instrument, a new sport or a CPR course. Also you can learn how to decorate a cake or change the wheel on your car.

BOOK HOLIDAYS NOW

Have a sit- down with your partner and look at all the school holidays and public holidays and your own work schedules and deadlines and decide when a good time to go away would be. If your baby is still small you probably won’t have to stick to school holidays – lucky you! If your budget doesn’t allow for a holiday this year, still plan your downtime for staying at home. You might want to invite a grandparent or some cousins to come and visit. Do it now, as their schedules could also be busy.

DO A DIGITAL CLEAN-UP

You will feel lighter if you spring clean all your digital devices once a year. Get rid of old apps you don’t use anymore, delete flop photographs and videos, refresh your playlists, get to the bottom of your inboxes and make back-ups of important documents.

ADAPT TO THE WORLD

As modern humans we’ve become good at adapting our physical environment to our needs, but in doing so we can begin to feel ungrounded. Then, when some of the adaptations fall away, we feel intensely uncomfortable. Occasionally we need to get back to basics and trust our body to adapt to nature. Here are some things to try: Spend time barefoot really appreciating the different textures under your feet. Sometimes go without aircon and rely on the breeze to stay cool. Have one night without putting any lights on. Sit on the floor once in a while and if you have a distance of less than 2km to travel, walk it, don’t drive.

REDUCE PLASTIC

Do away with unnecessary plastic, invest in reusable containers and if you must buy anything plastic, make sure it can be recycled. Do we need to mention straws?

BE A SPIRITUAL INSPIRATION

Let your children see you practice random acts of kindness. Also voice what makes you feel gratitude. Teach them that the path to happiness is not getting what you want, but being content with what you have.

HAVE FUN!

One of the biggest joys of parenthood is the element of fun that our children bring to our lives. Enjoy every silly joke, giggle and laugh from your belly till tears stream down your face – that’s how you know you’re doing parenting right!