Mind those manners

Being polite and kind is an ongoing lesson

IN ISIZULU THERE is a saying: “libunjwa lise manzi.” Loosely translated it means, “It’s easier to mould something or in this case someone, when they are still young and pliable.”

Parents may think that teaching toddlers manners is not that important; of course everything they do at this age is so cute (even if it’s telling mommy she has a funny face), but let’s face it, sometimes those cute sayings are just plain rude.

If you want to bring up a wellmannered, pleasant child, you must instil this in him while he is little. This is because toddlers learn things so easily. In fact, many of the things toddlers learn now will become second nature as they get older, which is precisely what you want when teaching good manners!

Because children copy everything we do, it makes things easy if you provide your toddler with a good example of manners. For example, when your toddler gives you something of his, always say, “Thank you”, and when you give something to your toddler always ask, “What do you say?” and then answer your question if he doesn’t give thanks. The trick is to keep repeating this so that your toddler learns what is expected of him.

Another way to teach good manners is through play. For example, playdates are great for teaching toddlers how to respectfully interact with others. It is no secret that many toddlers struggle with sharing. However, playdates are a great opportunity to teach your child how to share. You can also teach your toddler to say, “I’m sorry,” when he does something wrong to another child.

Again, it is important that you are consistent with your efforts and work on instilling manners at every playdate you attend.

An important part of politeness is tolerance; so make sure your toddler knows that everybody is different and that it’s not good manners to make fun of somebody just because he or she is not like you. If your toddler is staring at someone, ask him why and explain that staring can make people feel uncomfortable.

Saying the magic words “please” and “thank you” is part of being considerate. Toddlers often forget to use these words, but this is primarily because of their psychosocial development. Remember that your child is still learning, so don’t be too hard on them if they forget. Just keep reminding them.

Nowadays we don’t often sit down and eat dinner as a family, which is traditionally where most of us learned good table manners. Don’t forget to teach your toddler the basics wherever he may be eating, such as using a napkin or not speaking with his mouth full of food. He may not like it now, but he’ll appreciate the lesson later on in life.