TO BABY SHOWER OR NOT TO AS AN ADOPTIVE MOM

My husband and I tried to conceive and after numerous failed fertility treatments we decided to adopt.

We are both very excited about the journey we’ve embarked on and will soon be welcoming a new baby into our lives. If all goes according to plan the baby should be home in time for Christmas.

While there are big differences with adoption vs pregnancy there are many similarities. The one in particular I’d like to point out is the opinion of others.

We are lucky that for the most part we’ve received nothing but support from our friends and family.

I did however have a conversation with someone close to us about doing a baby shower now that we’ve been approved as adoptive parents.

For me a baby shower symbolises so much – it holds so much excitement of what’s to come and knowing that the people who attend not only care about you but share in that excitement with you, of the unknown but great journey you are about to embark on.

I was advised against having one as we do not know when we’ll be getting the baby, what the baby’s age will be and even whether we are getting a boy or girl since we had no preference. All we wanted was a healthy baby.

Here is my view on this topic: Why should I deny myself the joy of having a baby shower before the baby arrives? What makes adoption different to pregnancy in this respect? If you ask me... nothing!

No, we don’t have our baby yet and no, I’m not pregnant, however I’m STILL an expectant mother. I was told having a room full of baby stuff and no baby is heartbreaking. Yes, I’m sure it is, but a pregnant mom has just as much chance of having a room full of stuff and no baby as an adoptive mom. Yet, they still have a baby shower. Why? Because you believe with all your heart that you’ll give birth to a healthy baby.

So, my hope is that this letter is printed and that even if just one mother who is in a similar position as mine gets to read it, at least she knows it is okay to celebrate, to prepare and to get excited before the baby arrives. BERNADETTE WILLSON, MPUMALANGA