Raise an optimist

Cultivate an optimistic attitude in your little one, and keep the depression bug at bay. Here’s what you can do

WE ALL WISH for our children to be happy, successful and healthy. But, who would have thought a sunny outlook on life would be able to help with that?

Research shows optimistic people are healthier and live longer than pessimists. They are less stressed and less anxious, they don’t give up so easily, and they generally just do a lot better.

Children with optimistic thought patterns are also usually able to better handle disappointment and recover from it quicker and believe more in what they can achieve.

Probably the biggest benefit of optimism is that it’s an antidote to depression.

Martin Seligman, author of the book The Optimistic Child, says a pessimistic mindset is oftentimes the seed that becomes depression.

With so many children suffering from depression nowadays, optimism is a necessary life skill.

The first few years of life play a very important role to determine with what attitude your little one will be approaching life.

The good news is that optimism is something your child can learn.

YOUNGER THAN ONE YEAR

Babies are very sensitive to their environment and the people around them. Your newborn needs to feel safe, secure in the knowledge that someone will lovingly respond when he makes his needs known by crying. These early weeks are a key starting block for his mentality for the rest of his life.

If you neglect him now or ignore his needs, it could harm him. Even babies as young as four months can already suffer from depression and shut the world out emotionally; for this reason it’s vital to create an environment in which optimism can bloom – from the very first day.

YOUR ACTION PLAN

✓ Give your little one maximum safety and security. Pick him up when he cries without worrying about spoiling him. Your baby needs to know you’re there for him.

✓ Wake your baby with a smiling face every day.

✓ Make every nappy change a chance to get him to giggle, laugh or smile: play This Little Piggy with his toes, or blow kisses on his belly.

✓ Be positive yourself: your baby can feel when you’re down, and it could influence his mentality. If you’re struggling with feelings of depression, get help.

YOUNGER THAN TWO YEARS

Your little one will now explore the world and experiment with everything. So, it’s the ideal time to help him experience success, an important building block for optimism.

He is a little sponge that will studiously soak up attitudes and information all the time, so take the trouble to teach him about the beauty in life while you explore.

YOUR ACTION PLAN

✓ Give loads of hugs and love, and ensure your child feels safe by following a routine.

✓ Start each day by telling your little one what a wonderful day it’s going to be and what super things you’ll be doing: remember, every outing is an adventure for your toddler, whether it’s raining or the sun is shining.

✓ Focus on showing your toddler the wonders of the world. Take a walk and show him the birds, the trees and the garden, and tell him how beautifully all these things were made.

✓ Encourage your child to take on challenges and praise him if he succeeds. Be specific: “You’ve worked really hard!” But guard against excessive praise – it could contribute to pessimism.

✓ Make him feel good about himself.

Tell him how fantastic it was spending the day with him and why.

YOUNGER THAN THREE YEARS

Your young child’s world is becoming bigger by the day, and he’ll have heaps of new experiences. He’s able to express himself a little more, which makes it possible for you to talk to him about things that could make him pessimistic, so that you can guide him.

YOUR ACTION PLAN

✓ Talk to him about what happened during his day, find out what made him angry or sad, and place it in perspective. Point out that certain difficult situations were just temporary, and help him find a solution for the next day.

✓ If your child wants to just give up with something, acknowledge his feelings: “I see you’re battling to get that shape into its hole.” But also keep reminding him of past successes: “Remember how you managed to get all of them in so nicely yesterday?”

✓ Be optimistic about life and every day’s happenings yourself. Remember, you are your child’s greatest mentor.

✓ Help your child to notice the positive. If a playdate with a friend gets cancelled, point out that this means the two of you can play.

✓ Aim discipline at what he did rather than at him as a person.