I felt the urge to write in and thank you for shedding light on gaslighting. So many women are living their lives in confusion and fear, unaware they are victims of manipulation of a most sinister kind. The March 2018 article titled How to spot gaslighting made me sit up and take notice. It had invaluable advice on identifying these manipulation techniques. I was once in a relationship with a partner who had a personality disorder and narcissistic tendencies, so this article really struck a nerve, and it was a reminder to stay alert and not fall prey to someone like that again. It was also a beacon of hope and I felt a huge sense of relief knowing I am no longer a victim of this behaviour that I never knew as gaslighting. It left me feeling grateful I escaped that dreaded web of deceit and manipulation. No one should ever be the victim of abuse – verbal, mental or physical. Knowledge is power. Know the warning signs, know yourself, know your strength and know your worth.
– Cheryl-llynne Bottcher,
MOTHERS ARE THE BEST!
I always get asked where I learned to be so confident and bold with my views. My response is simple: I learned it at home. I was raised by a single mother who listened to me and allowed me to express myself, even on opinions some would find taboo. I was told every day of my life that I matter, that my thoughts matter. Even on those very rare occasions when I didn't do well at school, she never shouted at me, called me ‘stupid’, or anything disheartening. I was always allowed to err, which taught me that making mistakes is human nature. She also believed in me and taught me to never look at failure as the end of the road. Whenever I attempted to do something unsuccessfully, she would tell me I can be whatever I want to be and the only failure is giving up. That on its own is enough to build a child’s self-esteem. Every month without failure, I buy my mom a copy of Your Family as a way of saying ‘thank you Mom, for everything’. She loves cooking and trying out the recipes. My mouth waters every time
I think of her cabbage rolls, biscuits, potato salads, meatloaves, mashed potatoes and the beef goulash recipe from the June issue. To all the magazine’s staff members, I wish you nothing but strength. Your work is highly appreciated.
– Dineo Makala, Bronkhorstspruit