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I felt the urge to write in and thank you for shed­ding light on gaslight­ing. So many women are liv­ing their lives in con­fu­sion and fear, un­aware they are vic­tims of ma­nip­u­la­tion of a most sin­is­ter kind. The March 2018 ar­ti­cle ti­tled How to spot gaslight­ing made me sit up and take no­tice. It had in­valu­able ad­vice on iden­ti­fy­ing these ma­nip­u­la­tion tech­niques. I was once in a re­la­tion­ship with a part­ner who had a per­son­al­ity disor­der and nar­cis­sis­tic ten­den­cies, so this ar­ti­cle re­ally struck a nerve, and it was a re­minder to stay alert and not fall prey to some­one like that again. It was also a bea­con of hope and I felt a huge sense of re­lief know­ing I am no longer a vic­tim of this be­hav­iour that I never knew as gaslight­ing. It left me feel­ing grate­ful I es­caped that dreaded web of de­ceit and ma­nip­u­la­tion. No one should ever be the vic­tim of abuse – ver­bal, men­tal or phys­i­cal. Knowl­edge is power. Know the warn­ing signs, know your­self, know your strength and know your worth.

– Cheryl-llynne Bottcher,

East Lon­don


I al­ways get asked where I learned to be so con­fi­dent and bold with my views. My re­sponse is sim­ple: I learned it at home. I was raised by a sin­gle mother who lis­tened to me and al­lowed me to ex­press my­self, even on opin­ions some would find taboo. I was told ev­ery day of my life that I mat­ter, that my thoughts mat­ter. Even on those very rare oc­ca­sions when I didn't do well at school, she never shouted at me, called me ‘stupid’, or any­thing dis­heart­en­ing. I was al­ways al­lowed to err, which taught me that mak­ing mis­takes is hu­man na­ture. She also be­lieved in me and taught me to never look at fail­ure as the end of the road. When­ever I at­tempted to do some­thing un­suc­cess­fully, she would tell me I can be what­ever I want to be and the only fail­ure is giv­ing up. That on its own is enough to build a child’s self-es­teem. Ev­ery month with­out fail­ure, I buy my mom a copy of Your Fam­ily as a way of say­ing ‘thank you Mom, for ev­ery­thing’. She loves cook­ing and try­ing out the recipes. My mouth wa­ters ev­ery time

I think of her cab­bage rolls, bis­cuits, po­tato sal­ads, meat­loaves, mashed po­ta­toes and the beef goulash recipe from the June is­sue. To all the mag­a­zine’s staff mem­bers, I wish you noth­ing but strength. Your work is highly ap­pre­ci­ated.

– Dineo Makala, Bronkhorstspruit

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