YOUR NEW DREAM WORLD

Have your dreams taken on a life of their own since you fell pregnant? Here’s why it’s completely normal

It’s not only your body that’s going through massive changes over these nine months – your mind is too. What you may not expect is the effect these changes have on your dreams. Vivid, all-too-real scenes of birth, babies and fertility will become regular night-time visitors, and there are some good reasons for that.

IN YOUR WILDEST PREGGIE DREAMS

Try to think of your weird dreams as a bridge between the impending birth and your mind’s way of dealing with all the excitement (and anxiety) this brings with it. “Dreams are communications from the subconscious mind, which serves as our collective memory store. This part of the brain is creative and expresses itself symbolically and metaphorically, which is why our dreams are very weird and abstract,” explains counselling psychologist and hypnotherapist Karin Steyn. “Our subconscious minds respond with true feelings and even physiological responses that reflect what we’re thinking and sensing. This offers us the opportunity to project ourselves into a whole range of fictitious situations, and ‘test’ how we feel and think about them. This also allows us to rehearse experiences that we maybe have not had before.” Added to this is the fact that your body goes through massive hormonal changes throughout your pregnancy, as well as the special bond you share with your growing baby. During pregnancy, as Karin explains, your progesterone levels need to be maintained at a high enough level to sustain the uterine lining and the pregnancy, increasing during each trimester. And because progesterone “naturally aids a woman to turn her attention inward, to be more emotionally attuned and sensitive,” you have a deeper connection to your subconscious (and all its hopes, fears and anxieties) as

your pregnancy develops. Cue the increasingly odd dreams. “We need to recognise that there’s deep connection between the mother and the child that exists beyond the hormonal and physical connection that one may not be consciously aware of,” adds Karin. “Many tribes and cultures believe that communication can exist with the soul of the child. This is experienced in dreams, intuitions, and a gut-feel, or can be guided through visualisation, art, writing, music or creative expression.”

PREPARING FOR THE REALITY

Now that we know all those lifelike dreams you’ve been having are, in the most part, caused by the excitement and fears you have about becoming a parent, we need to see what you can do to banish the mounting anxiety. If you’re worried about being a good parent, get as prepared as possible. “Antenatal classes offer practical skills and tips on how to understand and survive pregnancy, birth and parenting. These classes also offer opportunity to meet other people who are going through the same life stage transitions as you, and help you to develop your emotional support networks,” says Karin. “Although no books or classes can fully prepare you for the reality of parenting your unique baby, they do give you an idea of some of the tools and resources you’ll need. I always feel it is better to have a plan going in (and planning to be flexible), than having no plan at all. Talk openly and honestly about your fears and concerns regarding pregnancy, childbirth and parenting with your partner.” If your anxiety is hard to control, though, Karin suggests therapy to help you deal with any underlying issues before baby’s arrival. If you’re anxious about the birth, make the unknown less of a mystery. “Parents fear birth for different reasons. It may be an earlier traumatic experience of birth that needs to be processed or released, or maybe a subconscious memory of the time when the person was born. Fears can stem from misinformation that creates negative expectations, so just accessing reliable sources of information can already make a big difference. Women frequently feel better about their ability to birth when they learn how birth works and the hormones and muscles that help to manage pain and create a comfortable and powerful experience of birth,” says Karin. Again, attending an antenatal class is a good idea, as is chatting to your gynae about your birth options. Be sure to go on a tour of the maternity and antenatal wards if you’ll be having your baby at a private hospital too, and ask lots of questions at the tour too. As scary as these dreams can be, remember that they are your mind’s way of dealing with all the changes that are happening. Welcome them as part of the journey to becoming a parent.