Month one

Break­ing news new daddy

Your Pregnancy - - Contents - Jamieliah, Cape Town

YOU’VE EI­THER BEEN caught by sur­prise by the news you’re preg­nant – or you’ve been track­ing your pe­ri­ods like Sher­lock Holmes, wait­ing for lab re­sults, or will­ing the phone to ring from the adop­tion agency. And de­pend­ing on your cir­cum­stances, your part­ner is ei­ther hop­ing for the pos­i­tive news with you, or is likely to be caught com­pletely off guard. Re­gard­less of the sit­u­a­tion, how you share the news will be mem­o­rable – so make sure you de­liver it in a way he (or she) will never for­get. IF YOU’VE BEEN YEARN­ING FOR GOOD BABY NEWS… If you’re ab­so­lutely sure he’ll be de­lighted to re­ceive good news, you can con­sider a prank an­nounce­ment. Here are a few:


“I got my best friend’s hus­band to phone Mpho, pre­tend­ing to be a call cen­tre agent try­ing to sell him in­sur­ance. Just be­fore he was about to hang up, my friend’s hus­band man­aged to say, ‘Now that you’re about to add to your fam­ily, would you like to con­sider up­ping your life in­sur­ance?’ Mpho was like, ‘What?’ At this point, my bestie’s hubby said, ‘I think you bet­ter speak to your wife…’ I was stand­ing right there with the pos­i­tive preg­nancy test in my hands. Best prank ever!” – Thembi, Jo­han­nes­burg WHAT IS IT? Give a “gift”: a jew­ellery-sized box is in­trigu­ing. Is it a watch? Is it a wal­let? No, it’s a box with a kid­ney bean in it, and the note reads: “Our lit­tle baby is this big!” SPOON-FEED HIM Lit­er­ally, en­grave a spoon and feed him dessert. SUR­PRISE! If you’re lost for words, buy (or de­sign and print) a sim­ple card with the preg­nancy news. A mes­sage such as “You + Me = Three” is per­fect, and lets you write your own sweet noth­ings on the in­side of the card. Awww... PHO­TO­SHOP Make picture-edit­ing tools your friend for some top-notch prank­ing. If it’s your sec­ond preg­nancy, take a pic you both love of your el­dest, say of her read­ing a book, and Pho­to­shop a new ti­tle onto it – one such as, “I’m go­ing to be a big sis­ter”. Watch for the penny to drop. A JOKE’S A SE­RI­OUS THING… If he can take it, your an­nounce­ment can be a lit­tle off-colour. IF THE PREG­NANCY IS A SUR­PRISE TO BOTH OF YOU… Tread care­fully around a big, pub­lic rev­e­la­tion. Tell him alone – he may need to cry tears of joy, and could feel put on the spot or em­bar­rassed in front of a group of friends or rel­a­tives. PHOTO FIN­ISH Have a photo shoot where you take a photo where each of you is hold­ing a card­board square with a mes­sage writ­ten on it, “Merry Christ­mas”, for ex­am­ple. Stand back to back and let the pho­tog­ra­pher first take his pic, with him hold­ing up his note. Now turn so you are fac­ing the front. Whip out your se­cret mes­sage (“We’re hav­ing a baby!”) and take the pic while say­ing “Ssshhh!” De­velop the pics and watch his face as he re­alises what you’ve done.


“I picked up the phone to my hus­band and told him our son was ready to be col­lected,” says Mark, who now has two sons. “It wasn’t ever go­ing to be the big Pin­ter­est re­veal, be­cause we were adopt­ing. But we’ve found hun­dreds of op­por­tu­ni­ties since then to mark sig­nif­i­cant oc­ca­sions.”


If your man doesn’t re­act as hap­pily as you had hoped, take heart. He hasn’t had the time to get used to the idea that you have had. He may be afraid of father­hood and all it en­tails: fi­nan­cial wor­ries, the re­spon­si­bil­ity, the need to re­solve his emo­tions around father­hood. Step back for a few days and al­low him to process the news. And above all, re­mem­ber: hear­ing about a preg­nancy is one minute of your life, but be­ing a par­ent is for­ever. YP

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